


Of Astronomy and A-Levels

by TimeLadyoftheSith



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Coworkers - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Roommates, Smut, University, come one guys it's me you know there will be smut, past abusive relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:40:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26095024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyoftheSith/pseuds/TimeLadyoftheSith
Summary: Rose Tyler doesn't know how she landed the job of Science Department Secretary at the prestigious Gallifrey University, especially since she doesn't have her A-levels, but she is doing her best to fit in. When Doctor John Smith befriends her, she is determined NOT to let his gorgeous smile and friendly demeanor knock her off her feet.The problem begins when her new salary may cost her and her mum their estate flat, and they can't afford anywhere else. She doesn't want to move in with a female roommate, not when Jimmy just made parole. What other choice could she have?
Relationships: Donna Noble/Lee McAvoy, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, John Smith/Rose Tyler, Martha Jones/Mickey Smith, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 100
Kudos: 179





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DoctorRoseTennant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorRoseTennant/gifts).



"Breathe, Rose. 'S your first day. You got this." Tucking her hair behind her ear, Rose Tyler stepped out of the misty morning and into the echoey hall of Science Building one. It was quarter of eight, so the campus of Gallifrey University in the heart of London was barely awake yet. At first, the sound of her well worn black heels clicking on the slick floors made her wince internally, as if she was afraid the sound would disturb a sleeping monster. Maybe six months ago, in another building, it would have. 

The front desk was empty, barring the assortment of posters taped to the front, three clipboards with unmarked sheets, a stack of wire baskets, two computer monitors, and a black, wooden, name plate display that was empty. Rose ran her fingers along the slick top, as she rounded it to approach the door behind it. The sign on the black wood said 'Employees Only', and she twisted the handle down. The click that came with the latch was loud, but the fact that it opened made her breathe out in relief. She stepped into the new hall, relaxing some as the carpet muffled her steps. 

The new hall was only half as wide as the ones outside, but as this was meant for faculty and staff instead of an entire student population, it made sense. The doors here were wooden, only rich mahogany instead of the cheaper ones from outside. Some were open, revealing dark interiors with shadowed lumps of desks. Others were shut, their gold name plates bearing witness to whose domain resided beyond. Even fewer were marked 'supply' or 'conference'. In the air was the lingering aroma of coffee, tea, and some sort of tropical air freshener. 

The further in she walked, the stronger the smell got, until she reached a door marked 'Rasillon Science Wing Staff/Faculty Lounge'. This door was slightly ajar, letting low chuckles echo out. Rose shifted her lunchbag and purse higher, smoothed her knee length black skirt, and drew in a breath. Then she pushed it open and stepped inside. With a belated internal wince, she slammed a smile on her face and prayed it didn't look as nervous as she felt. 

"Oh, Rose! Good morning!" The voice of Sarah Jane Smith, the current receptionist for the science faculty beamed at her from over her coffee mug. "You're early!"

"Good morning!" Rose saw the massive refrigerator and headed over to store her lunch. "I always try to be... whoa." She blinked as her ability to store her lunchbox was blocked by a dozen bunches of bananas. 

"Damn it Doctor." Sarah Jane came over, and Rose blinked as she grabbed four of the banana bunches and shoved them into the shelf with the others. "He does this every term start. Swears the lack of potassium is what makes students lethargic and quiet on the first day of his classes. I keep telling him it's the eight thirty time slot on a Monday after Summer break." 

"Sorry, Doctor who?" Rose eased her lunchbox in and shut the door. "Aren' like half the teaching faculty doctors, including you?" Sarah Jane achieving her Doctorate in Education with a concentration in Curriculum Development was why Rose was here. She was transferring over to the English Department to become the Assistant Dean of Journalism. She had already informed Rose that the reason she'd left journalism to become a part time secretary five years prior was to attend the university. It just so happened that the current Assistant Dean was moving to the States, and Sarah Jane's seniority with the school boosted her above any of the professors. 

"Yes, but John Smith just goes by the Doctor. Just that." Rose choked down her snort of disbelief, wondering exactly how the nickname had come around, but Sarah Jane must have seen her expression. "He goes by the Doctor because he has more doctorates than anyone else. He has one in education, one in physics, and one in astronomy. He's been talking about getting one in history. Also, he's been teaching here since he was twenty-five. Which gives him seniority, even over Dean Borusa. Only Borusa calls him Doctor Smith or, usually, John."

Rose had briefly met Borusa during her interview, when he'd walked in to loudly complain about something to do with missing maps to the head of H.R. He was an older gentlemen, pushing eighty, who was in charge of the history department. Why he'd come to H.R. to complain baffled Rose. "What does he teach?" 

"Intro to Physics and Astronomy Capstone, supposedly. His lectures can get.... side tracked, but as long as his students pass and they don't complain, Dean Stewart let's him do as he pleases. " Sarah Jane shrugged. "Let's head out front, and I'll show you how we get things started." 

Rose followed Sarah Jane back out into the hall. Her mind was forming an impression of this 'Doctor'. He'd working here longer than anyone, everyone called him by a title not a name, could do whatever he wanted, and he was obviously eccentric, judging by the bananas and Sarah Jane's exasperation. She imagined he was probably in his late fourties early fifties, wild haired with streaks of grey, wire rimmed specs, with pipesmoke breath, and the odd smell of cheese and coffee. "'M kinda nervous about this to be honest. Gallifrey is one of the best-"

"Rose, you've got nothing to be nervous about. The student population is wonderful towards staff, and you're going to fit in great." She held open the door, and Rose stepped back into the main foyer of the wing. Some students were already trickling in, all in various states of dress. Some were in cute or fresh outfits, while others looked as if they rolled out of bed. It was not at all what she had expected. "Can always tell year ones from everyone else." Sarah Jane nodded at a girl walking past looking like an magazine ad. Now that Rose looked, she found the more primly dressed students looked barely eighteen. 

"So, 'm basically answerin' phones and questions, yeah?" Rose stored her purse on the desk as Sarah Jane put her mug down. She could feel her chest thrumming as her heart began to race from nerves. 

"For the most part. You'll also be in charge of maintaining the notice board." She gestured to a corkboard to the left, which had a monthly calendar, some fliers, and a lost and found section. "When the post comes, or deliveries, you have to take them to the professors or classes, prep the conference room for meetings, make sure the break room is tidied up, and walk students back when they come in during office hours." Sarah Jane patted the chair in front of the computer. "Have a seat let's see if your log in and credentials are working." 

"Sarah Jane, these students...you said they're respectful to staff, but they're my age. They won' be causin' issues when they find out-"

"That you don't have your A-levels?" Rose shrugged, as Sarah Jane pulled an envelope out of a drawer. "Is that's what's got you all nervous?" Rose felt her cheeks burn as Sarah Jane shook her head and handed her the envelope. Then the woman sat on the desk and fixed Rose with a soft look. "One, they don't have to know. Two, if it mattered would I have hired you? Three, I hired you because I watched you handle three angry mothers, two perverts, and a snotty coworker while managing to find me the the last pair of shoes in my size in the middle of back to school shopping. You endured that for less than half of what I insisted your pay be. You'll be fine!"

"Yeah, but customers are different than students." Rose opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet with log in and password on it. Carefully she signed into the computer, as more and more students began coming in. The halls, which had echoed earlier, were now practically purring with activity. "They work." The screen had unlocked revealing the red and gold symbol that looked like a cross between and hourglass and an infinity sign. 

"You'll be fine. Now, let's get your systems up." Sarah Jane pointed to an icon. "First, the phone system. When you're logged in, calls pop up, and to transfer you drag the call box to the name. Then we'll move on to your email." Rose found herself relaxing as the Sarah Jane gave her the fundamentals. After spending all week panicking about this new job, she found herself relaxing inside. Maybe this was exactly what she needed. Her pay was double. Her schedule was a lot better, and most importantly, Jimmy Stone was locked safely away in jail. 

John sprinted up the sidewalk to the Rassilon building, sputtering as the wind whipped his tie in his face, ignoring the thump of his messenger bag on his thigh. Actually, he never felt it anymore. "'Scuse me! Sorry!" He apologized as he leaped like an olympic track star over a student who had knelt to tie a shoe. "Hold the-" One of his former students, he couldn't recall a name just the fact that his boyfriend had been mugged and the kid had had to run out of the astronomy lab during final prep, stepped aside, and John skidded past him into the main hall. 

He waved at Sarah Jane, who looked up from where some new girl was at the computer, and then ripped open the door to the professor's hall. "Sorry Kate!" He apologized, dodging Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, the Dean of Science, as he hooked a sharp right by the employee lounge and opened his office door. Dumping his bag on his sofa, he yanked his laptop off the dock where he'd accidentally left it the night before, pocketed a fresh box of chalk, and then barreled into the lounge. John opened the fridge, piled all the bananas he had stored on top of his laptop, and made a mad dash back out of the main hall to the auditorium like room where his astronomy capstone students would be gathering. 

The room was often packed during his physics lectures, although only thirty to forty would actually be registered students for the course. For astronomy, however, it would be the twenty or so that had survived the meticulous curriculum set by the other professors. They would all know the rule: you weren't late if you made it to the door before him. As he rounded the corner, he was not surprised to hear "hurry! He's right behind you!" Followed by a squeal of a female student, and the unmistakable thud of trainer soles. Sure enough Nyssa Traken, his TA for Intro to Physics two terms before was sprinting ahead of him, where Petronella Osgood, assistant dean and head of the university's research teams , was holding the door.

"Hey Os!" John slid to a stop, beaming as his heart thudded. It wasn't often either of the deans wandered into his domain. "Need something?" 

"I just supervised IT installing a new projector and laptop dock. Please try to not blow it up again." She gave a shy smile as she drew in a wheezy breath. "Also, your new star charts and student access passes to the planetarium and observatory will be delivered this week." She dug in her long coat, retrieving an inhaler and puffed deeply. 

"Don't make stuff go boom and passes aren't here, got it." He held up his laptop as two final students slid around him. He ignored the disbelieving snort and eye roll she gave. It wasn't his fault they kept giving him things that sorely needed upgrades. "Banana." 

"Thanks!" She plucked one off a bunch and dropped it in the pocket with her inhaler. "We also need your TA choice for Physics by tomorrow." She made it two steps before turning. "Also, the Pink and yellow lunchbox in the lounge belongs to Rose Tyler, the new receptionist. Don't steal her food on her first day!" 

"I'll do my best!" One pudding cup, ONE, and he was branded lunchbox raider. Sarah Jane hadn't cared, but the reputation had stuck. "Morning!" He called, as he slid in the ever closing gap of the door. 

"Mornin'." Came a jumble of yawns, snickers, and one sneeze. John tipped his laptop, letting the bananas roll off of it onto the stage before jumping up to sit beside them. He slid his laptop onto the wood and stared up at the array of faces that were scattered in the center section but went up to about the tenth row. 

"Miranda!" He called, picking up a banana. A girl with a buzz cut and a cute bunny charmed lipring raised her hand. He tossed her a banana. "Rochester!" Shoulder lengthed blonde hair was combed back as a hood lowered. He tossed another banana. "Jerome!" He went down his list, pleased to note everyone present, if not fully awake, was supposed to be there. "Welcome to capstone! You've all been around so I'm sure you've heard my rules." He paused as they all began peeling their bananas and sitting up straighter. 

"Number one, if You beat me in the door, and you're not tardy. Number two, I go by Doctor. If you wanna add Smith or John after that, it's up to you." John was so used to giving the speech that it rolled off his tongue now. He continued talking as he memorized the faces of each student. "C, hang on, Three, treat everyone from students to staff and faculty with respect. I hear any of you being rude or cruel, you're gone. Four, or D, or the little IV they have in foot notes, due dates are due dates. Unless you or someone you love is having a life or death emergency, you won't get an extension. Lastly, I don't tolerate plagiarism or cheating of any kind. I have a photographic memory, so I'll know if you do. This is your one warning. I will have you expelled, and as this is a final class for most of you, wellllllll, it won't end well." 

The usual murmurs of understanding and assent filled the room, so John clapped his hand to beam out at them all. "Well then, let's get started. By the time I'm done with you lot, you'll be ready to fight for positions across the globe." He shoved himself up and scooped up his laptop. "Let's discuss space!" He couldn't stop the manic grin that broke his face, as it always did over his favorite subject. This was going to be an interesting term. Not that they all weren't.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose eased the phone back into the cradle, as she transferred the call for Professor Lively, who taught biology one and two, to her voicemail. It had been a wonderful week so far, and the job hadn't been as tedious as she'd imagined. The majority of calls that came in were students who had questions or parents of new students demanding information. Sarah Jane had taught her quickly to just transfer them to the enrollment department instead of a professor or dean. 

The students weren't what she expected either. Given the prestige, she had anticipated them to act the way some of the richer kids in school or shopping at Henricks had acted. They were all polite, when they came to her for questions or to schedule office hours appointments. The staff and faculty she had met were also, for the most part, pleasant as well, but some were down right rude to everyone. In one week, Rose was feeling accomplished. Apparently Sarah Jane and Dean Stewart felt the same, because they were letting her pull a whole shift alone. Sarah Jane was in a meeting with the assistant dean she was replacing, preparing her for her job that would begin soon. 

It was always quiet after lunch, and it seemed Friday was no exception. Rose was more than content to pull up the campus map and resume her memorization of the layout. It was crucial she remember which buildings had security and which were open all hours. It wasn't as crucial as it used to be, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it was necessary. "Excuse me, Miss." A Feminine Welsh accent made Rose jump, and she turned to find a postal worker holding a box and an envelope. "Delivery here for Doctor John Smith." 

"I'll sign." Rose took the packages and set them aside to take the proffered pen. "Thanks." She offered the woman a smile, as she headed back out the door. 

Rose had yet to meet the mysterious Doctor. He was never in his office in the morning, and she was usually inundated with calls, emails, and check ins during office hours to say hi. Not that she hadn't looked, but she had yet to see anybody that matched what Sarah Jane had described. Although she did find it weird to hear some of the intro to physics students gushing over how hot he was. Well, everyone had a taste and for some girls her age, it was middle aged men. So, Rose was a bit eager to meet this Doctor. 

Flipping the phones to the voice message setting, Rose checked to see what status Doctor Smith was in. It showed he was on lunch, with a note that said in office. She gathered up the box and envelope and headed to the door. 

John popped another chip into his mouth as he typed in the daily attendance markers into the system. The first week of term was also slow, especially right after summer break. It would pick up eventually, which meant his time between classes would become grading and meetings. Not that he minded, because his teaching salary funded his summer, winter, and spring travel ventures, and it gave him the ability to open minds, well ones that could be opened, to the wonders of the universe. 

He still hd yet to decide who he would have as his TA for this semester. Fall starts were always the most packed, and it also meant that many of his prior students would be inundated with homework. John was all for asking Nyssa again, but she had her capstone as well as three other classes for her minor in research development. He had put out the bulletin for applications, but so far none struck him as interesting. He had five more left before the day was over. The one that seemed most promising was Bill Potts, who had worked on campus for three years to earn an employee scholarship. She wasn't in his Physics class, technically, but she and her girlfriend, Heather, often sat in the front row with rapt attention anyways. 

"We'll see how your interview goes." He murmured while shoving another two chips in. Attendance completed, he turned his attention to his emails. Honestly he hated the administrative part of being a professor, especially when it meant he had to scroll through droll, repetitive emails that. "Same bull every semester, as if we'd forget the rules." He rolled his eyes, even as he sent the confirmation that he'd read the fraternization policy and other such things. 

A soft knock at the door drew his eyes up. The receptionist, Rose, hadn't IMed him to let him know a student was coming. Not to mention, he was technically on his lunch. "It's not clos-" he began even as the next knock pushed the door open. Well, that explained why Rose hadn't reached out. She was standing at the door. It was the first time John had seen her without the desk, Sarah Jane, or students blocking her. 

It hadn't struck John that she was young, but it was easy to see she was no more than twenty or twenty-one. He also hadn't expected her to be so stunning. Blonde hair framed a face made of proud but delicate high cheek bones, a gentle chin, a cute button of a nose below two mesmerizing amber eyes, all over a smile that would have been too wide on anyone else, but brought her features into balance. She was shorter than him, but not ridiculously so, in grey dress slacks and a pale pink blouse that went up to her neck. It took John half a second to realize he had been blatantly checking her out, which he rarely did. "Rose Tyler, right?" He shot up, hoping she hadn't noticed his slip up. 

"Yeah, 'm jus' lookin' for the Doctor. I mean Doctor Smith. 'S he in?" Rose felt her cheeks warm as she stumbled over her words. She'd been a bit shocked to run into the Doctor's apparent TA, when he hadn't even reported one yet. 

The man was older than her, but not by much, definitely in his early thirties. His chestnut and mahogany colored hair was tousled to perfection over soulful caramel chocolate eyes and eyebrows that seemed to have a will of their own. His defined jaw was accentuated by sideburns, but it was as lithe and smooth as his lean frame. That frame was tucked neatly and somehow nonchalantly into a brown pinstripe suit, with a blue shirt, paisley tie, and goodness, white Converse so well worn they looked cream. His entire posture exuded authority, without arrogance, and the smirk playing on his lips was allure incarnate. His next words came like a jolt, yanking Rose back to the room. 

"That's me. The Doctor. Live and in the flesh!" He rocked back on his heels, then onto his toes, and his hands went into his pocket. "What? Not what you expected?" Rose slammed her smile back into place, hoping he hadn't realized she'd been checking him out. It was hard not to.

"Not really, no." Rose's cheeks tinged pink, and John laughed. It wasn't the first time someone had made that mistake. "When they said you'd been here since you were twenty-five, had three doctorates, and pretty much did as you pleased, I imagined someone-"

"Late forties, greying, bit pudgy round the tummy?" He slapped his flat stomach with a laugh, as Rose nodded. That's when he noticed she was juggling an envelope and a box. "Don't worry. Happens all the time. I assume those are for me?" 

"Yeah... I mean Yes!" Rose held out his packages and tried hard not to feel like a bug under a microscope as he stepped around his desk to take them. She pulled them back, still unsure if he was being honest. After all, people could pretend to be someone else all the time and nobody questioned their statements. Hadn't she lived it long enough to know better? "Sorry, but seriously, you're the Doctor?"

"Last time I checked. Here." John shoved his hand in his pocket, chortling at the suspicious and wary set to her brows. Sarah Jane had picked a feisty one, but why was she so suspicious. "Here, see." John dug out his id, which he rarely wore, and held it up by his face. "John Smith." He watched as her suspicions gave way to agreement, and he eagerly snatched the packages away, dropping his badge in the process. 

"Doctor, you dropped." Rose bent to retrieve the badge then yelped as he spun around and nearly smashed her head with the box. "Your badge!" She backed up a bit, until he dropped the box on his desk. It thudded solidly. She examined it, still feeling a bit pranked about how she had imagined him. "You're what, thirty, 'nd you've got three Doctorates?" 

"Thirty three, and yes. Earned my first at nineteen, second at twenty two, and third at twenty-seven." John shrugged, having grown used to the question, especially from pretty, young women. "Thinking about getting a third, in History maybe." He snagged a letter opener to cut open the box, and he did a little dance when he saw it was the star charts. "Yes! Finally! I can't wait to teach these." 

"What are they?" Rose had moved closer, and John promptly slammed his laptop closed and brushed everything out of the way so he could unfold them. "A map, of space?" 

"Stars, Rose Tyler. Star maps!" Rose looked up from the confusing array of white and blue and red spots on a space of black with hundreds of lines. It was all foreign to her. The Doctor's face split into the manic grin if a kid about to describe their favorite television show. "Every few years, star charts have to be updated because they die, well technically they died millions of years ago, but we lose their light now. Better than that, new ones poof into existence. Well, not so much a poof as they get bigger with age so their light is more visible. I'm rambling." His whole face had been so bright and dazzling, that when he shrank to a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck, she felt immediately guilty for gaping at him like a fish.

"No, I mean yes, but it's nice! I like hearin' people talk about what makes them happy. It's contagious." Rose felt her face break into a smile as his own lit up again. The Doctor's enthusiasm was infectious, and she really wanted to know more. "Plus, Astrology's pretty cool in my-"

"Astronomy." John cut in, then immediately regretted his snip when she flinched back and her smile began to fade. A smile that absolutely breathtaking should never disappear because of a snap. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. Um, Astronomy is the study of space, astrology is the horoscopes and stuff." Her smile was still shrinking, and those previously engaged topaz eyes were growing dull. John had never seen someone actually retreat into themself, but this Rose Tyler was. "Hey, no... my fault. I shouldn't have cut in and corrected you like that." 

"It's fine, Doctor. I really should be getting back. Um, have a nice day." Rose Tucked her hair behind her ears, her pleasant voice suddenly flat and detached. John sucked in a breath and tried to think of a way to fix whatever he had done wrong. Something about Rose's demeanor was familiar, like a dream buried deep in his mind, but he couldn't remember where from. 

"I'm a Scorpio!" Rose froze in her reach for the door handle. The Doctor's strangled almost shout had been completely unexpected. She turned her head, finding him clutching his hair with one hand and the other sliding a pair of square framed specs onto his nose. It only enhanced the look of earnest panic on his face. "My astrology sign.... October Twenty fourth.... Scorpio. Well, technically it's a Scorpio Libra cusp known as the cusp of Drama." 

"I'm a Taurus." Rose sputtered back, quite unsure as to why he was bringing this up. She had embarrassed herself but mixing the terms up. He had corrected her, which was his job. He was a professor, after all, with three doctorates. She didn't even have her A-levels. "April twenty-seventh. Sorry, why are we-"

"I like astrology too. Well, my twin-sister got me into it when we were teens. Claimed if I was gonna study the stars, I may as well know how they affected people." John laughed a bit at how Donna had taken it oh so seriously then. Now she just used her knowledge for irony, although she had used it for a job. He realized his laugh probably sounded manic, especially since he was pulling his hair again. He really needed to stop doing that. "Once temped for a birth-chart reading hot line. Donna, that is, my twin sister, did." the invisible armor Rose was wearing began to chip, and he watched as her posture relaxed. "Can we start over?" 

"Sure." Rose blew out a soft breath and tried to avoid those imploring hot coco eyes behind the specs. She'd never really found the whole professor, librarian, nerd type attractive, but John was the epitome of what could make a girl hot for teacher. She scolded herself because if Jimmy even suspected she thought someone was.... no, Jimmy was gone. He had eight months left on his sentence. She could look all she wanted. "I'm Rose, Rose Tyler." She extended her hand, blanching for a moment at the lack of sleeves, but remembered she didn't have anything to hide anymore. 

"I'm John Smith, yes that's my actual name. Everyone calls me the Doctor." John took Rose's hand, as he tried to understand the slight flicker of her eyes and lips. Everything about her actions spoke a typical girl in her early twenties, but those pools of liquid amber she called eyes were rolling through emotions so fast he couldn't understand. Their palms met, and as he stepped closer to let her arm relax into the shake, her perfume teased his senses: roses and sandalwood. It made his hair tingle in delight, much the way her soft palm felt as it matched his firmness. "Your perfume is beautiful. What is that?" 

"Um, I dunno. I got it from my best mate Mickey and my mum as a congrats on the new job gift." Rose's cheeks turned a soft shade of winter sunset pink as she slipped her fingers from his. "Didn' really look at the label, because 'll never be able to afford it unless it's on sale." She laughed it off, as his smile soaked right through her eyes into her chest. "Thanks, though." He wasn't flirting. Rose knew he probably wasn't single. Even if he was, he definitely wouldn't want someone like her, uneducated, damaged goods. 

"Guess I'll have to go sniffing around, in case I get you for secret Santa." John chuckled at his own joke, and he laughed even harder as Rose's eyes went wide and she broke into giggles at his horrible pun. "Oh, Sarah Jane didn't warn you? 'Ve never had kids, but dad-jokes and puns are my realm, and I rule with pride." 

A soft knock drew their attention, and John saw Bill standing in the hall. "Hey Doctor, sorry to break this giggle fest up, but I have-"

"An interview! Yea, Bill! Come in!" Rose stepped back, trying to regain her composure as John hoisted himself over his desk like a gymnasts' horse, and flopped into his seat. "Finish our comparison of our star charts and astrology traits later, Rose?" 

"I mean... if you, want." Rose offered Bill a smile as the girl stepped past her. The easy way he held himself was so much different than the domineering but slick coerciveness she'd been so used to. "Good luck, Bill." 

"Thanks...'nd nice perfume by the way. Tha's Plentitude by New Earth righ'?" The woman's toothy smile was blazing white against her flawless latte colored skin, which accentuated her mahogany eyes and natural cloud of curls.

"Honestly don't know." Rose shrugged, but she looked past Bill just in time to see the Doctor mouth 'Plentitude' and grin. It hadn't struck her that Bill was still close to her, until the woman spoke again.

"You're not a student. You're the the receptionist yeah?" Her full lips, shining with a pearl shimmered gloss, spread wider. There was an inviting gleam in her eye that was suddenly familiar.

"Down Bill, you have a girlfriend!" John watched as Bill shot him a lethal look over her shoulder, as Rose turned the most delicious shade of magenta. It took him a moment to realize Rose hadn't been entirely aware of Bill's flirtatious stance. "Besides, you know the rules." 

"Nice to meet you both!" Rose felt like her cheeks were on fire as she escaped into the hall. She didn't want to stall the interview, and she also was unsure how to handle the two of them bantering easily over what had been a flirt. "What the hell jus' happened?" She murmured to herself as she slid back into her chair. Twenty minutes had flown by, but how, and what in the name of sanity had just happened in that office?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Rose, I got you something." Rose jumped as the voice of the Doctor came from directly behind her. She hadn't even heard the door open or his Converse on the tiles. Yet there he was, a rich blue pinstripe coat over a maroon 'the Flash' shirt. He was holding out a book. It took Rose three seconds to calm her breathing at being snuck up on, wondering how she could have been so engrossed in her emails. "I didn't mean to scare you!" 

"'M fine, really." John tried to comprehend why the smiling, cheerful, friendly Rose looked like a fox cornered. Then he realized he was blocking the only way out of the desk area. He stepped further in, hopping up to sit on the desk but giving her a free path. Almost instantly, her smile became genuine. "Wha's this." He released the book, as she took it from his hand. "The Art of Astronomy." He felt his own grin slap into place as she flipped it over. "Thirty quid, I can' take-" 

"I've had it for ages, got it as a door prize at a conference and it's just been sitting on my shelf." John hope she couldn't tell he was lying. He had come across it at a store just last night, and their little flub on their first meet had made him buy it for her. The blush that creeped into her cheeks and that endearing tongue touched grin were as breathtaking as always. "Not much of an artist, but I saw you sketching with watercolor pencils Tuesday on your lunch, and I thought maybe you'd get more enjoyment out of it." 

"It's beautiful." Rose felt wonder as she flipped through the pages. The book had images captured from various massive telescopes, like Hubble, but on the opposite page it had the same picture with numbers and a list of corresponding color names for the rather expensive kit of water color pencils that her own set was a cheap duplicate of. Still, hadn't she learned the hard way that no gift from any man with a smile that sweet came without a catch. She hated having this line of thinking, was trying so hard to break it, but her tongue slipped out. "Are you trying to butter me up for somethin'?" 

"Nope." Rose hoped her surprise was masked as the Doctor shrugged and reached over to snag her pudding cup that she'd been saving. "On second thought. I'll take this and you don't have to say thanks." She blinked, about to protest and snag the cup back, but he'd ripped off the foil and scooped some out with his fingers. "Mmmmm lemon cream!" That was it? Seriously. Rose didn't quite understand. He swallowed hard before scooping more out. That was it? 

"You're a very odd man, Doctor." John hummed in agreement as he continued dining on Rose's snack. She had returned to flipping through the book, and he was pleased his cover up had worked. "I don' think a coworkers' ever given me a gift outside Henrick's one, horrible secret santa attempt." Suddenly her lips slammed shut and her ears turned red under her high pony. Aha! Thus far Rose had kept most of her personal life secret, except that her dad had passed when she was an infant. So she had worked at Henricks before here. Why would that be cause for blushing? 

"'S not a gift. You gave me this pudding, remember." John lifted the pudding cup. "You didn't come out for trivia night Thursday. Sarah Jane said she invited you." This was the main reason he'd swung by the reception desk during his office hours. She'd been friendly enough, as all new employees were, but John was intrigued, especially since she hadn't bought into his instant message invitation to come with his class to the Observatory on Tuesday evening. 

"I had dinner plans with Mum. Maybe next time." Rose turned away as some students came in the main door. They were in the afternoon biology class, and they waved as they passed. "Besides, 'm rubbish at trivia unless it's movies 'nd music." Shrugging, she turned back to the mail she had been sorting before. It wasn't that she was avoiding his gaze, she just found that when he watched her, if felt like the Doctor was trying to read her mind through her eyes. 

"I don't believe that. I bet you've got loads of knowledge crammed away in that brilliant mind of yours." His tone was nonchalant, but the earnestness behind it made Rose swallow. If only he knew. "You're clever." She turned her chair back around, ready to scoff, but he was swiping his finger around the pudding cup, just rambling on. "Have to be for Sarah Jane to pick you as a replacement." 

"Doctor, Sarah Jane picked me because she happened to catch me on a day where bein' yelled at by entitled customers were literally the best thing 'd experienced in a month, so." Rose realized that he wasn't going to leave until she'd satisfied his curiousity. His tenacious curiosity was the main part of his reputation. The question was, what was he curious about. At her admission his gaze flicked to hers even as he froze with one finger in his lips. "Yes, okay. I was a shop girl before I worked here. Go ahead... 've heard-"

"So she does have a history." John tossed the empty cup in the bin as Rose rolled her eyes. "So what. Lot's of people work in shops as college students. Trust me, she thought you were clever. Now, you gonna come next time?" 

"I suppose, 'nd everyone has a history, Doctor. Jus' not everyone wants to discuss it with strangers." Rose was not ignorant to the fact that this was their longest conversation since their first meet. Even though passing him in the hall or lounge occasionally had exposed her to his exuberant energy, but she was remembering that having it turned directly on her was contagious. She found herself shoving the mail aside and letting her eyes drift to his fingers drumming on his swinging legs. "Are you always this annoying with new people?" 

"Just the ones I want to get to know." Rose nearly rolled her eyes, because no one of his standing in society honestly wanted to get to know someone raised like her. "Which is pretty much everyone. So yes, it means I am annoying. You obviously don't mind, though, because you haven't made any polite excuses in hopes I'll take the hint and bugger off. That's what my classmates did during my first year in Uni. Then again I was-"

"'M not that interestin', Doctor. Honestly, nothin' about me is worth takin' time out of your life." She cut him off, because when he rambled like that, with those big eyes and enticing smile, Rose could very nearly forget that he'd brush her off the instant he knew the truth. She'd seen it happen to so many women who grew up with her. So, she waved her hand and went back to sorting the mail. It was a statement she'd used to end conversations before, when questions about bruises on her arm, or cuts on her lips came to light at a doctor's visit or the nail shop, or worse, her mum's hair salon. 

"Who told you you weren't worth anyone's time?" John threw out the question, as he always did when he heard something like that, hoping to make her freeze and think about her words. It was a trick that had been used on him when he was eleven, and he'd never forgotten it. Instead of pausing, Rose shrugged and gave a wry smile. He hadn't expected that.

"Doesn't matter who. I said what I said." John was about to interrupt her, his curiosity now morbidly piqued. "I'll come, but be warned 'm rubbish at trivia. So if we lose because'a me, you're takin' the blame, Doctor." She reached beside her and plucked up a stack of envelopes. "This' yours. If you don' mind, some of us don't have the privilege of doing as we please and face gettin' fired if we slack off." 

"I work! In fact, I have papers to grade. I'm gonna go do that now." As quickly as he'd appeared, the Doctor was gone.

*-*-  
Rose exhaled heavily and shook her head. "Why're geniuses so weird." She mumbled under her breath. Not that she'd actually minded his company, or looking at him for that matter, but he asked too many questions. Rose wasn't ready to divulge her past with anyone. Plus, men equaled trouble, especially pretty ones whether they wore gold chains and bleached spiked hair or pinstrip suits and converse. She was just another school drop out from the estates. She knew what statistics she fell in and would continue to fall in. 

Even if she went back for her A-levels and maybe even a simple degree in business or something, her chances of finding a job that paid well enough to get a nicer flat and clothes were slim. Even then, she never planned on dating again, so a single income would only get her so far. Then again, if she made it past one year here, her pay would almost double and she wouldn't need to go back to school to look elsewhere. Either way, she should be focused on work and not the Doctor's inviting smirk. 

Rose's thoughts were, thankfully, interrupted as her mobile rang. "Captain Harkness, Hi." 

"Rose, I told you like a gazillion times to call me Jack." The detective who had initially handled Rose's case against Jimmy, but had been promoted in the middle of it, sighed. "I was just at Henricks trying to see you. Miranda said you quit."

"Yeah, 'm working at Gallifrey University now." Rose felt a smile begin to form as just his voice reminded her she was safe. Even though he'd passed off his case to Detective Gwen Cooper, Jack had been a constant friend and safety net for Rose. He'd been at every interview, every hearing, and had stopped by at least twice a month to say hi. "Guess if you and Ianto want to steal me away for lunch, you'll have to come see me here." 

"I wasn't there to steal you away for lunch." Jack's voice was serious, something Rose had rarely heard outside of the case. "I don't wanna tell you over the phone. Can we meet in person? I'm at the main campus building now."

"Jack, what's going on?" Rose felt her stomach drop, and she didn't even question how he'd known to come there before even calling. "I'm in the Rassilon Science Building. 'S the newest building all the way to the east side of campus." 

"Be there in five." Jack ended the call.

Rose felt her heart drop, then it began to pound, harder and harder. She tried to keep her composure even as the last biology class of the day trickled into the foyer. The night classes wouldn't begin until seven, and she was leaving in an hour anyways. Why was Jack so serious? Had something happened to Ianto, her mom, Mickey? "Have a good weekend." She called back as some of the students bid her the same. Jack came up to the doors as the last few students passed through them. It was a rare treat to see him in uniform, since most of his work was done in plain clothes.

Rose didn't think she'd ever quite get over how ridiculously perfect the man was, like someone had brought a photoshopped and airbrushed advertisement for male perfection to life. As always, a few people nearly crashed into each other as he parted the crowd to come towards her. "Hey, Rosie." Swallowing hard, she forced a smile on her face as she came around to hug him. The few remaining students murmured unintelligibly behind Jack and vanished out the doors.

"Hey Jack." His odd mixture of musky-masculine cologne and light floral body wash, was, as always a perfect juxtaposition. "Is everything okay? Has something happened to Ianto or my-"

"Rose, babe, is there anywhere we can sit together?" He had eyed the one chair behind her desk and the open foyer around them. Rose felt her heart drop more. "Privately."

"Yeah, back here." Rose went back to flip herself into break status, which would forward the phones to one of the TA desks, then took Jack's hand. "Employee lounge. Only people left are Osgood, The Doctor, and Bill. They won't be in the lounge for an hour or so."

"Nice gig, by the way. You mum said you're making double what you were at Henricks. Is my favorite flower eyeballing a career in higher education?"

"Funny." Rose rolled her eyes, snorting despite her trepidation. "No, jus' got the job by chance. The woman who hired me had to get like eight letters of recommendation from my secondary school teachers and former bosses to make up for lack of A-levels." Rose felt her eyes linger too long on the Doctor's closed door before continuing down the hall. "So uniform? That's not usual unless you were at court. You don' do court any-"

"I was called in as a last minute witness for an appeal today." Jack's somber tone ripped Rose's feigned smile away even as the lounge door clicked shut. "Rose come here." He pulled her down into a chair, then pulled his closer so his long legs framed hers, his strong, rough hands caressing her fingers, and those previously knee shaking blue eyes were so close, Rose could see the flecks of white and gold hidden in individual lines. "Jimmy turned witness against the drug dealers in the areas around the estates. He did it in exchange for reduced time. They did the raids yesterday, and they got everybody he named with enough evidence in each flat to have them off the streets for years."

"His reduced time hearing, That was today? Why didn't anyone tell me?!" Rose bit back the scream of frustration, managing to conceal it in a muffled squeal. Jack's fingers tightened on hers, even as his radio crackled out something she didn't understand. The room got a bit tossed, as if she were on a theme park ride or a ship. How soon? How much of the seven years had been stripped away? It was unfair. Nausea began uncurling in her belly. 

"It was. I only knew because someone from the narcotics division called me." Jack's eyes were an odd mixture of concern and lethality. Rose was dreading his statement, why he'd come. "I barely got there in time to demand to testify against it, but it didn't matter. He's been reduced to twelve months including time served from arrest. Rose, he'll be back on the streets in-"

"A month shit." Rose felt her stomach jerk and was, for a moment, absurdly glad the Doctor had stolen her pudding. "Will he be on-"

"Parole, yes. I did manage to convince them to slap an ankle monitor on him, and I updated the work information on your protection order once Henricks told me you worked here." Jack's radio crackled out again, but Rose paid no heed. What good was a protective order? The laws meant nothing to him when he'd chained her to the bed for a week when she'd worked over without telling him, or when he'd found her looking up domestic violence hotlines and shoved his...."Sink!" 

Rose registered Jack hauling her over the sink as what remained of her lunch came back into her mouth. "Sorry... sorry...." she retched, feeling shame and embarrassment flood her. She thought she had moved past this. She thought she'd mastered control over her dread and fear, but the mess now being washed away as Jack turned on the faucet proved otherwise. "I don't do this... anymore.... Jack." 

"Hey, Rosiegirl, it's okay." She looked up, as he dabbed her mouth with a damp napkin, and Rose flinched back. She had hated when her mum had done that when she first moved back. "Sorry...habit. I forget sometimes you don't like to be-"

"Babied. Yeah. 'S fine. 'M fine Jack. 'Ll figure this out." Rose brushed her hair back, as she forced her body to remember that she was not in immediate danger. "Thanks, for telling me. 'Ll figure something out." Maybe if she repeated it enough, her brain would come up with something it had missed. 

"First, I want to teach you self defense. You can come over to my place. Theres a gym at the end of the block where we can work out." Jack pulled out his phone as it binged a notification. "Three times a week." 

"Of course. Yah." Rose wondered why she hadn't thought of signing up for classes from  
The start. "Dunno why you're doing this for me Jack. Most police-" 

"I offered it to all my cases, Rose. You're just the only one who ever took me up on my friendship." Jack's smile was soft as he pocketed his mobile and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Gotta make it back before debrief time. Walk me out?" 

"Yeah, jus', Jack. Don't tell anyone Else involved about what's going on." Rose leaned into his shoulder as they headed back out into the hall. It was close to her clock out time anyways. "Especially my mum. Let me figure out what 'm gonna do, then 'll tell her. No need getting everyone else panicked this early."

"Not even supposed to be telling you yet, doll. Just thought you'd prefer to hear it from me and not a letter in two weeks." Jack paused at the end of her desk. "Tomorrow, my place, bring workout clothes. Yan's cookin' lasagna after." As usual, his lips were warm on her hair as he curled her into a tight hug. "If you don't show, I'm hunting you down." Then he rolled his eyes and snagged up his radio mic. "Be there in ten." 

"Bye Jack!" Rose watched as he disappeared out the door into the late afternoon light. This was all wrong.

*-*-

John drummed his fingers against the mouse as he stared at the employee log. Tyler, Rose M was right there. All he had to do was click and he could hopefully have some answers. "She didn't give you her number did she?" Bill's chuckle made him jerk, and he looked over. She'd been going through his Intro to physics quizzes:while he was out front. Swiftly, he closed out of the page, hoping she hadn't seen it reflected on the framed supernova behind him.

"Who?" 

"Rose. You know, hot, blonde, eyes like warm honey 'nd a smile that makes your knees go a bit weak?" Bill smirked, as she circled the grade on the quiz and grabbed the next. "Tha's why you bought the book, yeah? Tryin' ta get her number." John was beginning to regret hiring the no-filter woman, but then realized it was because she had called him out. "You ever think maybe she has a boyfriend or girlfriend?" 

"I bought the book because I thought she'd enjoy it." John shoved his glasses further up his nose and pulled the pile of essays to him. "Getting her number would have been a plus, but the pudding cup was good too." He waved his pen at her pile. "Shouldn't you be helping me grade?"

"You didn't even ask did you!" Bill gasped before laughing. "Oh, come on. What chick wouldn't want to date you if they were single? You're Smart, stylish, not a jerk, a bit on the weird side. If you were a girl I'd be interested." John snorted to hide the cough as she crinkled her nose. "Although, I prefer my girls a bit on the troublemaker side." 

"I asked Sarah Jane if she was single, and she said as far as she knew. She last asked a week ago." John rolled his eyes as she drew a breath. Bill was staring at him with a look of disbelief. "Don't gimme that look. I'll ask when she feels more comfortable around me. The last thing any woman wants is the new coworker acting creepy." 

"Gonna ask her at pub Trivia night aren' you?"

"Yup." John beamed as Bill laughed and resumed her grading. "If anything, I'll get the answer to if she's single or not." The sound of heavy footsteps in the hall made them both pause. It was definitely boots, and nobody in the department wore them or had a gait so heavy. "What the?" He shoved back from the desk and crossed to the door. He hadn't realized Bill was behind him, until his elbow jabbed her stomach when he pulled the door open. 

"Oi!"  
"Shhh"

John looked towards the employee lounge in time to see Rose disappear inside, the unmistakable back of a police officer in front of her. "We shouldn't eavesdrop, right." He looked back at Bill, who was watching him with a practiced expression of innocence. 

"Right.... 's rude." Her mahogany eyes tightened just a tad as her eyebrows came down. John felt his lips twisting up in a smile as she cracked into a grin. "But, we know I never follow the rules." 

"And Donna reminds me constantly I have the social graces of a baboon." John nudged her slip on flats. "Use it to prop open my door." Then he slicked down the hall to press his ear to the lounge door. He couldn't hear anything solid, but whatever was being discussed was distressing Rose. She half shouted something, and then the man was yelping the word sink.

Bill arched an eyebrow at him, but John shrugged. Then they heard the unmistakable sound of Rose vomiting. "Oh... do you think she's, ya know?" Bill mimed a swollen belly. 

"No, shhhh." John batted at her arm as she flattened his ear against the wood. "Something about him teaching her self defense." 

"Ooooh....." Bills face drew tight, and John didn't quite understand why she was looking so suddenly sullen. He raised both eyebrows at her, and she sighed. "Back in your office."

"Just a-" John heard Rose speaking more clearly, something about not telling anyone until she had a chance to figure something out. Then the cop was asking her to walk him out.

"Shit!" He grabbed Bills hand as she ripped her ear from the door, and together they dashed back down the hall. John had barely snagged her shoe and closed the door when the lounge one opened. He and Bill leaned heavily against his door until the hallway was silent. "What was the oh about?" 

"You seriously ain't figured it out?" Bill blinked at him like he had turned into a caveman. "C'mon Doc. You've got a sister. Think about it yeah? Young woman, cop comes to talk to her at work, something about someone who makes her physically ill gettin' his sentenced reduced, and cop offerin' her self defense." 

"You think she was..." The word was heavy and sickening on John's tongue, refusing to slip out even as Bill heaved a sigh and shrugged. "I mean...there's gotta be more than that. Maybe a stalker who..." 

"Maybe you should jus' get to know her 'nd find out, instead of trying to decipher her employee file, mate." Bill slapped his shoulder as she returned to her table and grading. John felt his cheeks flush in both shame and worry. He'd have to wait until Trivia night to get some answers.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose jumped as Mickey's warm hand landed on her shoulder. She had been lost in thought wondering how she was going to break the news to her best friend. Jimmy would be out in a few short weeks, and Rose didn't believe for one minute that she or anyone she cared about was safe. "Hey, sweetheart, what're you doin' up here?" His voice was thick with concern, as he dropped down to dangle his feet beside her on the top level of the fire escape. 

"Thinkin'." Rose brushed her hair back, as she stared out over the Saturday afternoon traffic. She wasn't quite ready to disclose to him the truth, and she needed a viable distraction from the uncertainty. "And sketching." Rose drummed her fingers on the sketch book in her lap. "Bu' mostly thinking." She set her book aside, so it rested atop her metal pencil tin and the book the Doctor had given her. "Thought you worked Saturdays." 

"Not anymore. Eddie bumped me up to lead mechanic since Larry quit. That means I'm off weekends now." Rose snapped her head to the side, swelling with pride as Mickey flashed her a toothy smile. "Not as big a pay raise as you, but definitely nice." 

"'M glad. We need ta celebrate!" Rose bumped him with her elbow as he watched her from the corner of his eye. They'd been friends long enough that she could feel when he was trying to keep some bad news to himself. "Oh, out with it Mickey. Can practically hear your cogs turnin'." 

"You know your job's gonna report your wages right. What's gonna happen when you and Jackie are above the limit for the flat?" His words weren't harsh, just genuinely concerned. Rose hadnt even considered it, and she felt her stomach plummet. "Judging by the look on your face, You forgot about that huh?"

Rose let her head fall back as she groaned in exasperation. "How could I be so stupid? I wasn't even thinkin' about that." Blinking up at the clouds overhead, she tried to run a quick calculation in her mind. She had two credit cards that were maxed out, thanks to Jimmy, and a flag on her name from the flat they'd had together. Since her name had been on the lease, not his, it had fallen on her to pay the thousand pounds worth of damage his fit of rage had done to it that night. She'd tried to get it removed, but they'd only agreed to drop the cost of the burns to the carpet. She was still paying that off. "I can't get one on my own, unless I wanna move right back into the same mess of drug addicts and thieves." 

"So, look for someone seeking a flatmate." Mickey shrugged, as if the answer was that simple. How could she drag someone else into this mess, especially an innocent woman? "There's loads of women out there who'd be willing to let you a room." He was right, Rose knew, but that nagging thought of Jimmy's impending release made her hesitate. She'd gotten used to hiding things over her three years with Jimmy, so she kept her exasperated grimace one of annoyance and not fear. 

"You're right." Rose brushed her hair back, before nudging him in the side. "So, lead mechanic huh? Remember when you got the job right outta school, 'nd your gran was sure you were gonna get fired for bein' late all the time." She relaxed, pleased that he had taken the subject change without question. Would she never outgrow these habits? 

"Yeah! She swore makin' enough food for the guys was a sure fire way to keep me from gettin' sacked." Mickey bumped his hip into hers gently, before curling an arm over her shoulder. The fraternal touch revealed he'd caught the subject change, but wasn't going to push for an explanation. "You know, I found her recipe book. Maybe you can help me figure out how to bake her lemon cake without burning it. Been cravin' in since I found the recipe." L 

Rose felt her stomach prick up in excitement Gran Smith's lemon cake had been the star of every birthday part on the estate that Rose could remember. "Sounds good to me! Help me up?" She scrambled to stand while simultaneously collecting her supplies. The anticipation of tasting a slice of happy memories was enough to stave off her dark thoughts. She'd start looking for a place on Monday.

~*~*~

"Do you have to move out?" John huffed from his spot on Donna's bed, watching as his twin continued to empty her closet into boxes. It looked odd, and he half expected the clothes in her hands to fall. That could have been because his head was dangling over the edge. He'd know this day was coming for five months, when Lee had set him and Granddad down to ask their blessing on proposing. "Why can't he just move in here? The house's paid-"

"Because, his house nearly is too. Besides his is closer to my job." Donna thwapped him in the face with a scarf. "Sit up, space brain, before you give yourself a headache." With a grunt, John heaved himself up right. This allotted him a full view of the ginger storm. "John, we cant live together forever. Besides, this'll give you some privacy, if you ever get a girlfriend that is!" Her teasing smirk was accompanied by a pair of shoes being shoved into his hands. "Oh, don't pout!"

"The house'll be so empty without you. Boring too! How'm I supposed to enjoy dinner without you ranting on about Mr. Blorksnort, or-" the shoes were stolen away to be packed, as Donna cut him off. 

"Blackstock, Dumbo, his name is Black-Stock." Donna huffed before disappearing into the small closet again. "You'll have to watch telly or read or get-" A jumper smacked into his face. "A-" John had barely lowered it and opened his mouth to retort before two scarves bundled collided with his lips. "Girlfriend!" He flinched reflexively, expecting more, but nothing happened. Donna just seized her items and stuffed them in an empty hatbox. "Seriously, you haven't had a serious girlfriend since that french chick... Reinette, or whatever." 

"Haven't been interested in one until recently. Been too busy." John should have known Donna would bring this up. It was definitely coming from their mother's mouth though. It wasn't until Donna spun on her heel, a wave of red strands whooshing, that he felt the gravity of his words. "Before you ask, no, I'm not seeing anyone." He made to straighten his tie, before realizing he was shirtless. Donna's shocked look morphed into a 'aha!' smirk.

"But you want to! I know that fidget! Who is she? What's she like? Have you asked her out yet? When Do I get to meet her?" Packing had become a lower priority, apparently, because Donna half jumped on the bed and grabbed his hands eagerly. 

"Donna! Calm down!" John laughed as he shook her hands away and shrugged. "There isn't anyone in particular. I just know I'd like to meet someone." A sweet smile and sassy topaz eyes flashed across his mind for a moment. He was planning on asking Rose out, true, but he wasn't exactly sure she was interested in him. He'd always known when women found him attractive, and he'd always known when women either weren't or were unavailable to act. Rose, well, John couldn't quite figure out if she found him attractive, or if she simply found him amusingly annoying.

"That's a lie! You don't just think about things." Donna scoffed, and John felt those hazel blue xrays she called eyes digging for the full truth. " You either spontaneously burst with an epiphany or you forget what you were thinking about until you blurt out the answer two weeks later. So, who's gotcha thinking about dating?" 

"I'll tell you if she says yes." John countered. He didnt want to go into details, because he knew damned well Donna would do bug him relentlessly for information and updates. "You and mum act like I never date!"

"Not seriously!" Donna was up and moving again, and John flopped back on her pillows to pick up a Rubix cube she'd dug out of some drawer earlier. "You better have a date for my wedding, or I'm gonna sit you Nerys."

"God! Fine! I'll bring someone. You don't have to threaten me with torture." 

"Good, now get up and carry these to the front hall! The truck'll be here in fifteen minutes." 

John tossed the Rubix Cube aside, wondering if Donna would notice he'd arranged it so the sides were complete except for one square on each. Then he rolled off her bed to help carry her things. "House is gonna be empty without you." He finally sighed, as Donna turned to offer him an apologetic smile.

"You'll get used to it." He knew he would, but it was going to be a lonely few months.


	5. Chapter 5

"Evening, Doctor!" John grinned as Lucie Miller, one of his TA's from his first year of teaching beamed from behind the bar as he approached their usual tables. She had dropped out when her granddad died and left her Platform One. "Already got the trivia buzzers set up. Usual orders?" He shed his suit coat and loosened his tie, before rolling up his sleeves to his elbows. This early, the pub was still filling up.

"Yeah, but can you split my tab off this time?" He queried, checking his mobile. Rose had been gone when he'd left, but he did hope she was coming in like she promised. 

"Isn't it Osgood's week to pay?" 

"Yeah, but I invited someone. If she shows up." He flashed Lucy his best smile. "Not sure what she's going to want, so just leave my tab open." 

"She bout my height, blonde, red dress?" 

"Yes and yes, but at work she was wearing black slacks and navy blue blouse." John flicked his eyes along the bar, feeling hope flicker in his chest. Was she already here? "Why?" 

"One just walked in the door." Lucie gestured over his shoulder with a shaker cup, and John whirled around in the seat he'd taken. He felt his stomach flip at the sight five tables away. Rose was standing just inside the door, looking around in the ever observant and ready to flee manner she always had when uncomfortable.

She had changed into a red dress, as Lucie had informed him. It was mid thigh length, with thick straps over the shoulders and a neckline that went straight across her chest revealing nothing, and the rest shifted down along her body without clinging. Her long legs were obviously bed tanned, but not ridiculously so. It was just enough to turn her skin from pale porcelain to creamy ivory. Her shoes were simple white ballet flats, and she was holding a white clutch. The late evening light peeking from the clouds danced off her hair, which had been loosened from the clip she'd had earlier. "Wow." He murmured under his breath. How could she take a cheap, plain dress and make it look like a vision from his unknown dreams? 

"Napkin, Doc? You're droolin." Lucie laughed behind him, as she clinked glasses down. 

"Shut up." He hissed, wondering if the pitch in octave in his voice was noticeable. Then he shot up, forcing his voice to return to normal. "Rose!" 

Rose had been surveying the pub, feeling quite unsure of being there. She was the new girl, and this was their thing. Yet, she needed to make friends, to make herself at home at Gallifrey. So she'd come. Granted, she'd had to leave early for her annual check up as well as her birth control injection, so she'd run home to change and wash up the remnants of the appointment. The sound of her name came with a sort of breathless surprise she'd never heard. "Doctor!" She whipped her head to the bar, seeing the Doctor standing at a table. Dear God, the man looked absolutely gorgeous.

His blue pinstripe coat had been abandoned on a nearby chair, treating Rose and every other woman in the bar to the vision that was his fitted maroon Oxford tucked into his pants. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing defined but elegant arms that were covered in just the right amount of dark hair. His tie was hanging loosely around his neck, with the top few buttons open to reveal the thin white undershirt below. His lips pulled up into a smile so inviting Rose wondered if the man had swallowed the sun. She found herself crossing the room before she could register her feet moving. She also realized her long forgotten flirtatious smile, slipping into place. She was about to rein it in when the Doctor took her by the free hand and blew out a breath. 

"What?" She asked, feeling her ears burn at how pleasant the callouses on his palm felt against her hand. She couldn't flirt with him!

"I'm just glad you came." Then she was wrapped in a tight but brief hug. If she hadn't already known the Doctor was a hugger, she'd have tensed up. As it was, he released her before she had a chance to feel awkward. "Are you hungry? Here, have a seat!" Rose dropped her clutch onto the table top as he pulled out the chair next to his. Sliding into her seat, she felt her cheeks flush as he pushed her chair in enough for him to slide behind and drop into his own. "The rest of our group'll be here soon." 

"'S it okay if I order now? 'M starved. Only had half my lunch, so I could make it to my appointment?" 

"Of course!" John passed Rose a menu Lucie had left at the table. "Tonight's my treat, since I annoyed you into coming." He watched as Rose stiffened sharply for a moment. Like a time lapse video of a storm, emotions flickered across her face with such speed he may have missed. What was up with her and not wanting people to do things for her? Unless... "I mean, if your boyfriend or whoever won't get upset."

"I don't have a boyfriend." Rose's voice was curiously flat at that statement, but John didn't ask why. It was easy to tell by her veiled distaste the breakup had ended horribly, and asking about it would only make things awkward. The question however seemed to make up her mind, because her smile was back. "Seriously, though, your treat? 

"Ye-P" He began pouring himself a beer from the pitcher on the table. "So, tonight's theme for trivia is comic based-"

"Seriously?!" He didn't think he'd ever seen her look so excited. Whatever protest shs'd been about to throw about him paying had died. "I love comics! They're what got me into art." John felt his attraction to Rose flame higher in his chest as she ignored the menu to turn the full effect of her smile on him. This was different than at work, where her smiles were polite. Rose's entire face was lit up, teeth flashing, and her tongue was wedged in the corner of her lips, curled up just so over teeth. "I may actually be good tonight!" Her hand covered his, squeezing his fingers in her excitement. 

"I know you will be." John squeezed her fingers back, again unsure if she found him attractive or not. He'd be finding out before the night was over he was sure. "So, has my newly favorite artist had a chance to put that book I gave her to use?" He slid his hand back, breathing a sigh of relief as her smile barely faded. Rose picked up the menu again. "Although now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have gotten you book on sketching comics." Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it.

"Doctor! You said you didn't buy it." Rose felt a flicker of anger rise into her chest. The flash of guilt on his face betrayed him before he could speak. "You lied to me! Why would you lie about somethin' as simple as a book?" Her fleeting moment of happiness at the fact that she'd divulged she was a comic fan and he hadn't gone all 'you're not a true fan' gate-keeper on her was snuffed in a blink.

"I wasn't going to, but the minute you saw the price-"

"It was a rhetorical question, John!" Rose snapped, and she scooted her chair to the left, creating a gap in the previous closeness. "'Nd I don' need you to pay for me tonight. 'M quite capable of payin' my own way, ta." The pretty ones were always so devious. She should have known better than to trust eyes that intoxicating, whether they be green as clover or as rich as hot coco.

"Rose, 'm sorry." She ignored him, focusing on the menu. If she hadn't already promised Sarah Jane she'd be here, Rose would be out the door. "I don' want this to ruin any chance at a friendship between us." She ignored him still, refusing to look over at him. "Will you please let me make it up to you?" Her anger paused mid-broil at the soft request. He was asking her permission to earn forgiveness? He wasn't just assuming it could be bought off or sneakily demanding it? That was something she didn't know how to process. "Rose?" 

"You can' buy it." Rose had lived enough of bracelets bought from thieves down the hall, dinners out, and concert tickets. "My forgiveness." She watched as his earnest eyes tightened, brows losing a bit of confidence as if she'd just hit him with an insanely hard test question. In fact, he looked like she had become a conundrum. "Just take the book back and bring me a pudding cup. We'll be even." 

"That's it? Seriously?" She cocked an eyebrow at him as he leaned back in his chair, looking totally bewildered. 

"Seriously. Why's tha' so surprising?" 

"It's just, my ex-girlfriend, she always demanded extravagant gifts when I screwed up." The Doctor shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "Just sorta became how I apologized to everyone. Nobody's ever turned it down." Rose blew out a breath, as the Doctor blew out his own breath. "Except my family that is. It's refreshing." She felt her ears begin to burn as he offered her an impressed but slightly crooked grin. "You're refreshing, Rose Tyler." 

Rose swallowed hard and turned back to the menu to avoid the inviting sparkles in his eyes. It wasn't fair that he could silence her defensive anger with such a simple statement. She didn't know if it was the statement itself, or the way her naivety seemed to return at the earnestness in his tone. All she knew was she didn't want to talk about it anymore. "So wha's good to eat here?" 

"Pretty much everything." Sarah Jane's voice made them both jerk. "Although I'm particularly fond of the chicken wings with chips." She settled into a chair on the other side of the Doctor. "So, what's the trivia theme tonight?" 

"Comics!" Rose interjected before the Doctor could. Before Sarah Jane could respond, a waitress appeared and was asking their order. "Ummmm, I'll have an order of the chicken wings, with chips, um 'nd whatever is the usual for the group to drink." She ignored the glass the Doctor tried to slide her. "Thanks, Jenna." Rose had made it a habit to always address any service industry person by name. 

"Our house label is two for one until eleven." Jenna offered. Rose knew she was offering because it was required, but she also noted that the pint the Doctor was sipping was darker than her usual preference. "It's a mild ale, with a more summery hint." Her genuine smile sold it for Rose. 

"I'll have that then!" She handed her the menu as Jenna turned to take Sarah Jane's order. Osgood and a few other professors Rose wasn't totally familiar with were filing into the tables.

John instantly made a mental note that Rose apparently preferred a more mild drink. Then he observed how the growing group was making her fidget. "Looks like our usual group is in. Has everyone had a chance to meet Rose Tyler, the new secretary?" He flashed a broad grin, as she waved politely. "She'll be taking Martha's place." For a moment, Rose looked tense, but everyone clarified who they were and complimented her on how swiftly she'd picked up her position. 

The normal organized chaos of ordering and pouring drinks and splitting table tabs took over the majority of the conversation for the a few moments, and John found himself momentarily caught up in the familiar confusion. Soon, though, everyone had their drinks and was sufficiently unwinding from work.

"So what's your favorite universe?" Rose's question caught him off guard, and John jumped slightly as she touched his arm to get his attention. "'M more of a Star Trek girl, misself, bu' I like X-men 'nd Wonder Woman too." 

"You read the Star Trek comics?" John briefly wondered if it would be inappropriate to outright propose to her then and there as she nodded and tucked a stray strand of hair back and raised her drink to her lips, but before he could stop himself he babbled out. "Wanna ditch trivia and go get married?" 

"Pfffft what?!" Rose's shocked looked turned into the most endearing giggle that made her beer bubble in her glass, and that turned into a full laugh that made her toss her head back and her fingers tighten on his arm as she lowered the drink to safety. Her laugh was contagious, and he found himself snorting one out too. "'M sure your girlfriend would be pretty mad." 

"What girlfriend?" John chortled, ignoring how Sarah Jane and Osgood whipped their heads around. "I've been a free agent for five odd years now" he put in the extra effort to make it seem nonchalant, but Rose didn't take the bait.

"Food!" Her hand slipped from his arm as her meal arrived, and John focused on Sarah Jane's look. He waggled his eyebrows and flashed her his best smirk. "Oh my god, this is amazin'." Rose's delighted moans at the wings made his stomach flip, and John forced himself to focus as Osgood shoved the trivia tablet into his hand to set up the team names. 

Rose found herself caught up in the excitement of her coworkers. She had expected it to be casual, but they were slightly unhinged as scores racked up. At one point, she swore Osgood was going to shove her inhaler down John's throat, as he beat her to answer what the main god of Krypton was called.

"What is the one thing that renders Wonder Woman completely powerless?" The screen flashed fifteen questions in, and Rose squealed. 

"Gimme!" She ripped the tablet from the Doctor's hand, choosing 'C: being tied up by a man' before the other teams could even move. "Aha!" She cheered, and found herself giggling as her head spun just a tad. She'd already had four beers, but was too caught up in the excitement to care.

"That's our Rose!" The Doctor beamed as he high-fived her. "I didn't even know that!" 

"It's because the creator, William Molton Marston was majorly into bdsm and was a polygamist." She chuckled, popping a chip into her mouth. 

"He invented the polygraph too!" The Doctor cocked an eyebrow at her in a weird way. "But seriously? He was a polygamist and into BDSM."

"According to an interview with his wife and their live in girlfriend." Rose shrugged. "Not my place to judge." She grabbed her glass as they scored another point when the question ended. They were ahead by seven. 

"Which is the only character, besides Batman, who has been in the comics as long as Batman has?" The next question came. Rose didn't answer, but the Doctor was again mauled for the tablet as Sarah Jane lunged for it to score them another point by answering "Commissioner Gordan."

Rose wasn't certain why she felt suddenly relaxed and thrilled by the evening. As more questions rang in, building her confidence and earning her more high fives and cheers from her team, she momentarily pondered if it was because it was the first time she'd been out with friends except Mickey and Shareen since the Jimmy incident. It was also the first time she'd been a tad past tipsy since her third date with Jimmy. Hazed by alcohol, her mind decided it didn't care and was immediately caught up in the Doctor's bark of laughter as he scored them points on a tie breaker question. Giggling, she started on her sixth pint. 

"In his alternate ego, Clark Kent, Superman attended what denomination of church as a child and teen in Smallville?" She squinted at the screen, then yelped and threw herself into the Doctor to slam her finger on 'Methodist!' While the everyone else was whispering. 

"Oh, come on. Be the up to date version from two thousand seven 'nd not the one from fifty-three." She chewed her lip not even realizing the Doctor had grabbed her arm to keep her from knocking over the chair. 

"The Kents were Scientologists." The Doctor hissed in her ear, but the timer expired, proving him wrong. 

"Issue eight fifty of the Action Comics officiated their religion, Doctor." She giggled, reaching out to poke his chest as she settled back into her chair to pick up her glass. "Methodist, ta!" She felt herself preen as she threw back her final swallow. The Doctor gave her a look she didn't quite understand while their teams started to cheer. They'd won. 

She made to stand, needing to excuse herself to the loo, but as she took a few steps Rose realized she was well and truly drunk. "Shit." She hissed, a flicker of fear coming over her. Then it faded. "You're allowed to get drunk." She scolded herself. Upon returning, she found most everyone had left, except Sarah Jane and the Doctor. 

"Rose, the Doctor's offered to give you a ride home. He only had a drink." Sarah Jane touched her shoulder softly. "I would offer, but my son has some friends with him, so there's only room for me." 

"I can take the bus." Rose waved them off, not wanting to impose. "'S how I got-"

"It's getting late, and besides, Sarah Jane said your building is on my way." The Doctor's smile was genuine, and Rose glanced at her mobile. "The route you're on won't get you home for an hour. It'll take me ten minutes." 

"I don't wanna be a both-"

"It's no bother. I promise." The Doctor smiled as he handed her her clutch. Rose took a moment to hazily weigh the idea of riding the bus while completely intoxicated or getting home and in bed much sooner. "Well." 

"If you're sure." 

"I am." The Doctor wiggled his fingers at her, and Sarah Jane was disappearing into the outside crowd. "C'mon, Rose. I parked across the street. I don't want you falling down in traffic, drunky." She slipped her fingers into his, as he playfully laughed. Again she was stunned by how gorgeous he was, how easily magnetic his smile and attitude were. Now, her swirling thoughts registered how delightful his fingers felt, and she barely had the sense to catch herself from leaning into his arm. 

"Lead the way!" Rose followed him into the night.


	6. Chapter 6

"You can let me out here." John raised an eyebrow as Rose pointed ahead of them at a corner shop. He would have immediately pulled over, if not for the group of men standing nearby passing a bottle back and forth and looking like an ad for trouble. "'M just a bl-a block over." Rose's speech had become more and more slurred as the short drive had gone on. 

"Rose, I promised to get you home safe, and you're really feeling that alcohol." It was more than obvious as she fumbled for the door handle. "Let me at least park in front of your building." He didnt want to let her out to stumble home in the dark. 

"Fine, but 'm callin' mum to come down. You're not walkin' me up." Rose was adorably flustered as she fumbled with her mobile. "'Nd only if you swear not to tell anyone at live where I work. I mean-"

"I know what you meant, Rose." John chuckled softly as her already flushed cheeks turned darker. Drunk Rose was so adorable, especially considering she'd spent the majority of the drive singing to the radio. "I won't say a word, though why it matters is beyond me." 

"Go up two streets 'nd turn there at the park. Take first drive on your right. There'll be a car park." Rose was squinting at her mobile as if trying to make the screen focus. He did as instructed, and understanding flushed through him as he found himself in between two estate buildings. "Mum, 's me. Call me back." She huffed. "Mum's not answering. 'S the building on the right."

John eased into one of the few spots and stared up at the massive estate tower. Nearby, in a basketball court, some more trouble lookin groups were smoking and passing a bottle. "Try again. I know you live here, but the thought of you walking-"

"'M fine. I can make it." No sooner did she speak than her mobile rang. "Mum?" John heaved a sigh as of relief, as he hit the unlock button on the doors. "What'dya mean you're out?" John watched as Rose leaned her head back, looking frustrated. "Well, when are you gonna be.... yes 'm drunk. Was gonna have you come walk me up. My coworker.... nevermind. 'Ll call Mickey. He's there with you and Howard? Riiiiiight, the match. Okay. Fine. 'Ll see you tomorrow! Be safe" she ended the call and those glassy, topaz eyes met his. "'M going up. It's only five floors. 'Ll text you when 'm-"

"Rose, can you even walk?" John turned off the car and pocketed the keys. "Let me at least walk you to the door. I don't want you falling." He wondered why Rose was living in estates with her mom when she made the salary she did. If her mum worked, they could easily afford a nicer flat. He shoved the thoughts aside, deeming them judgmental after she'd already expressed discomfort with folks knowing.

"'M not having sex with you." Rose's snort hit him harder than it should have with the timid sincerity in it. "Thanks for drivin' me, bu' 'm not fallin' for those lines, Doctor. Don't care how pretty you are when you smile." She was out of the car before John could blink. He jumped out of his own seat, watching as she stumbled a bit. Her words tumbled into understanding as he grabbed her arm while she stumbled. Pretty? Rose found him attractive! His heart did a little flip as she swayed into his chest.

"Rose, I would never dream of taking advantage of a drunk woman. I just want to get you home safe." The tension grew palpable, and John swore he saw fear flickering and dying in rapid succession on her face beneath the overhead lights. The conversation with the police officer came to mind, and he stepped back enough so only his fingers were on her elbows. "I swear, on my sister's life. I'd never." 

"'S what they all say." Rose huffed, and John swallowed hard. Who had taken advantage of her? When? How long ago? Then she sighed and shook her head, pulling her arms back until their fingers brushed. "Maybe a little help up would be good."

"How about I stop one floor below?" Rose blinked up at him, and John scooped her hand into his as he led her to the building. "Would that be better?" She hummed and nodded, tripping over a rock. "Okay, that's what I'll do."

Rose hadn't realized how much she'd drank until she'd tried walking. She'd been so caught up in the fun of the game that the drinks had snuck up. Now she was feeling it, and the stairs were swaying beneath her. As much as the embarrassment of The Doctor seeing she was just an estate girl stung, his presence as she navigated the stairs was helpful. She was nervous about him walking her up, that underlying fear of what had happened the only time she'd been drunk around a certain ex making her heart race. "Awfully quiet, or are you just trying to focus." He whispered, helping her across the third floor landing. 

"Tryin not to fall." Rose resisted the urge to close her eyes, and she clung tighter to his arm and the stair rail. She couldn't wait to be in bed, so her legs could have a break. The swaying of the stairs was stronger, and she yelped as she stumbled. A thin arm was around her waist, stopping her tumble. Those melted caramel chocolate eyes shone down at her, soft with concern. Rose belatedly realized she was against his chest. "S-s-sorry." God he was gorgeous, and sweet. 

"No need to apologize." His voice was soft in the ringing of her ears, and Rose felt her heart flutter as much as her stomach was. "Why don't I just keep my arm here until we get up there?" Her mouth felt dry as she nodded, and in a smooth motion he had her tucked against his side as they started up again. "Fourth floor landing coming up." 

"I can make it." Rose shook her head, trying to get her vision to steady. His arm disappeared as she approached the last flight. A flash of relief filtered through her, followed by a tinge of disappointment. He'd felt and smelled so pleasant. 

"I'll stay until you're safe inside, okay." 

"Hmmm" Rose didn't look back as she labored up the last flight. It seemed to take forever, but soon her door was in front of her. "'M just gonna unlock now." She fumbled her clutch open, squinting down to find her 'going out' key. The only thing in the tiny purse was her mobile, bus pass, bank card, and lipgloss. "Fuck!" She leaned against the door, as a hazy image swam into her mind of her dumping her other clutch onto her bed and her key landing beside her discarded, pink bra. "Fuck!"

"Rose!" There was the sound of trainers on the stairs and warm hands were on her elbows. "Rose, what's wrong?" She looked up, finding the Doctor looking around in panic. 

"Left my keys.... on my bed." Instantly his entire demeanor softened, and he chuckled. "'S not funny." Rose huffed as she shoved her clutch under her arm and stared down at her mobile. "Jus' gonna call mum." She pressed the contact, bracing for the ring, but it went to voicemail. "Great, her mobile's off. Lemme try Mickey." He didn't answer either. 

"Any neighbors have keys?" The Doctor was looking at the door over, but Rose shook her head and nearly regretted it. 

"Ms. Lovelace used to, but she's in a home now. The new neighbors work nights." Rose leaned against the door, trying to remember if her bedroom window was unlocked. It was against the fire escape, but then she remembered she'd had Jack come over and insisted she locked them. "'S fine. 'Ll just walk down to Mickey's and wait for him." 

"Rose, I'm not leaving you drunk in a hall at night." The Doctor shoved a hand in his pocket, and the other was ruffling his hair. Rose recognized is as his 'dilemma' face. Although it usually only came out during group take away lunch orders. "And we have work tomorrow. Why don't you come home with me? You can take Donna's old room. I'll make sure you're up in time to come home and change." 

The Doctor's voice was soft, but Rose wasn't so sure he would remain this polite. She was about to refuse, when he responded. "Or you can call someone to come to my car downstairs. What about that police officer friend you sometimes have lunch with?"

"Jack, yeah. I can.... I can do that." Rose heaved a sigh of relief as he beamed at her. She quickly punched Jack's number. It rang twice, and his voice came on sounding exhausted and stressed. 

"Rosie, what's up." 

"Can you or Ianto come get me? 'M drunk 'nd locked out." 

"I wish, sweetheart, but I'm currently elbows deep in a parent kidnapping. Ianto is in Wales for Gwen's wedding." The unmistakable chatter of officers echoed through the line. There was a pause. "Are you alone?" 

"No...no... the Doctor is here. Ya know-" 

"Put him on the phone." Rose blinked but extended the phone to the Doctor. He cocked an eyebrow but took it. 

"This is John. Ahhhh. Yes. Well, of course I'm not leaving her out here alone." He rolled his eyes, and the simple movement made Rose's drunken thoughts crash violently, "I offered to let her stay in my sister's old room. She just seemed.... yeah, more uncomfortable than scared..... weeeeeelll yes. Ten Ten Rift Blvd, yeah between Karn rd and Arcadia way." Those caramel chocolate eyes fixed on her, and Rose wondered how they could have ever made her afraid. "I'll text you from my phone. I wouldn't expect less. Here she is." The phone was back in her hand, and Jack's voice was no nonsense. 

"Rosiegirl, you're gonna go home with John. I have his address, and he knows if he puts one toe out of line I'll rip his heart through his throat." Rose couldn't help but giggle. Jack had almost done it to Jimmy, if the responding backup hadn't pulled him off. 

"Love you too Jack. Be safe." 

"You too babygirl." 

Rose hung up the phone and pushed away from the door to sway nose to chest with the Doctor. "Guess 'm goin' home with you." 

"Guess so." He tucked his arm around her again, and things grew hazy and heavy. 

John kept his arm firmly around Rose, who was having an easier time going down than she had going up. This close, her perfume swirled around him pleasantly, and he found himself resisting the urge to stroke her side through her dress. "When we get to my place, I'll tuck you in." 

"'Kay." They'd reached the ground floor and were making their way back to his car. "Doctor." Rose's voice was soft and slightly bashful as she pulled away to let him open the car door. "Thanks for helpin' me. I didn't expect the drinks to hit me like this. Shoulda known though. Haven't really drank in a while." 

"What're friends for, Rose Tyler." He eased her in and reached across her to grab the lapbelt. Then he draped his coat back over her. "I also promise not to tell anyone you're a lightweight." He squeezed her hand as she made an offended noise before shutting the door and hurrying around. 

She was quiet for most of the ride, and John wondered if she was asleep a couple of times. Whenever he'd look over, however, he find her glassy eyes watching him in the city's lights. The moment she noticed, Rose would look out the windshield. It wasn't until they'd pulled up to the house that she spoke. "This's your house?" There was an odd note in the slur. "'S sorta, cute, for a guy." 

"It was left to me." John chuckled as he pushed the garage door button and eased in. "It's not what you think." He was all too familiar with how deceptive the house looked from the street. Once parked, he hit the close button and slipped out. He unlocked the garage door, killed the alarm, and flipped on the mudroom and then kitchen lights. Then he headed back out. Rose was already coming around the car. "Easy sweetheart." John caught her before she could trip over the wheel of the mower hidden in the shadows.

"Thought you forgot me." Her murmur was adorably put out, and he chuckled softly. 

"Never." Gently, he guided her up into the mudroom and through to the kitchen to the living room. "One more flight of stairs." He would have put her in the downstairs guest room but the bed frame was disassembled and the mattresses were stacked against the wall to make room for Donna's workouts.

Rose was holding more onto the rail than him, although her right fingers were firm on his sleeve. "Right here." He opened Donna's former door and flipped the switch. Luckily, he'd made the bed up with fresh guest sheets just after she'd moved out. "Down we get." He eased Rose onto the sheets, waiting a moment before letting her sit on her own. 

"Thanks." Rose felt her body shiver as the Doctor stepped away from the bed. For one hazy, horrifying moment she'd expected him to change his demeanor. "I'll just... um." She toed her shoes off. 

"Be right back." The door closed behind him, and Rose tossed her clutch and phone onto a night stand. The room was sparse, but cozy from what she could see. Then a knock echoed. 

"Come in." 

"Here, um, in case you wanna sleep in something comfortable." The Doctor was handing her a pair of jogging pants and shirt with a sleeping dragon in a Santa hat, "There's a bathroom right here." He tapped the door to his right. "My room is the door at the end of the hall on the left, if you need me."

"Thanks, ta." The door shut again, and Rose stumbled her way into the ensuite. There wasn't soap or anything, but the spacious room was more than adequate to wash her makeup off and change into his clothes. Then she stumbled to the bed and crawled under the sheets. The room spun ominously for a while, but she knew nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Rose winced at the pounding of a hangover in her head as she shifted on the blankets. There was a tapping noise coming from across the room, and the silence between it and her was unsettling. _Why is it so quiet? Why is it making me uncomfortable?_ It struck her that the small pink, desk fan was not filling the room with ambient noise. The tapping sounds stopped, making her headache even more intense.

She flailed for her cellphone, hand knocking a lamp. _I don't have a lamp._ Rose shot up, heart racing in panic, as she tried to orient herself in the room. The sparse light coming in the window was off, and she realized belated that there were only blinds. Her pink curtains were gone. "No... no." The world tipped dangerously as the door opened, before she could recall where she was.

"Rose, time to wake-" She screamed, her addled brain and hangover nausea making her ears roar. _How did Jimmy-_ The thought died as hands caught her mid-scramble from the bed. Everything was a blur. She flailed, her stomach angry and twisted while she tried to fight Jimmy off. "Rose! Rose! It's me! It's the Doctor." 

"D-D-Doctor?" She heard her voice catch as her stomach finally began to rebel. "I'm gonna be-" Before she could finish, she was being half scooped from the floor and blindly carried. Her feet met cool tile just as she began to gag, then she was on her knees. 

"Shhhh," The Doctor's voice was gentle, and she felt her hair being pulled back and soft circles rubbed through her shirt. 

"Oh, god... Don't look at-" Rose whimpered before another wave hit her and she clung to the cold porcelain. _Why does he have to see me like this?_ There wasn't much in her stomach, which made each retch all the worse. The soothing circles didn't cease. "Doctor.... I'm." She gave another dry heave before resting her brow against her palms to steady herself. 

After another spinning toss of the room, the soothing circles disappeared. Rose registered water running, as she tried to lift her head and locate the toilet lid to pull it down. Then, as gently as a morning mist, a damp cloth touched her cheek. "There's a girl." She blinked up, as the Doctor swam into focus. 

He was kneeling on the floor beside her, eyes impossibly soft and sweet in the yellow glow of the ensuite. "S-s-sorry." Rose raised her trembling hand to take the rag, as he dabbed it softly along her chin. "I...I..."

"Hey, I've been there. It happens." John chuckled softly as Rose's sweat dampened brow furrowed. Her hands were shaky and clammy against his. "Here, Let's get you back into bed and hydrated before we try walking on our own." 

"'Kay." Rose was still shaking against him, when John helped her to her feet. It was obvious that she wasn't quite to the point of being sober yet. The glassiness of her eyes, the slightly slurred speech, and unsteady steps were a give away. "What time's it." 

"Quarter of five." She blinked at him, looking all too adorable in her ruffled, makeupless confusion. "Thought you might like time to get yourself grounded and sober before You go to work." He eased Rose to the bed, making sure she was propped up against the pillows. Only then did he turn to retrieve the small lap table with her breakfast on it. 

"'M not hungry." He shook his head as she tried to wave it away, but he set it down across her lap anyways. "Doctor-" her eyes were closed as she rubbed her head with a whimper of obvious discomfort. 

"You need to eat, so your metabolism will get a boost and finish sobering you up." John had made sure the breakfast was light and gentle. "At least drink the smoothie." 

"Smoothie?" Her eyes fluttered open, and they finally zeroed in on the contents. "Wait... you made all this... for me?" 

"Well yeah." John returned to the dresser where he'd set his tray down at. "Mind if I join you?" He could tell she was still a bit disoriented, but he didn't want to leave her alone. There was something in her expression, the way her eyes kept flickering from him to the window, the door, and then back to him that was familiar. It made him feel odd, in ways he couldn't describe. 

"This is... this is good." He grinned at the look of relief when she took a sip of the smoothie. "What is it?" 

"My hangover recipe. You've got spinach, kale, avocado, apple sauce, apple juice, a bit of a sugar free sports drink, water, berries, and a whole banana." Rose took another long sip, and John relaxed enough to stab into his own plate of eggs. "Technically bananas are berries though, so that's redundant." 

"They are not!" 

"Are too! So are pineapples." John felt his face split into a grin as she squinted at him, lips pursed around the straw of her smoothie. His decision to distract her from her discomfort at being in a strange home and hungover was working. If only she would eat more. "Well technically a pineapple is a cluster of berries." He popped a bite of eggs into his mouth with one hand and stirred his tea with the other. 

Rose's phone was in her hand in a moment, and after a bit, she lowered it and stuck her tongue out at him. "Fine. You win. The smoothie is good though. It's really settling my stomach." 

"Good. Now will you please eat your toast and oatmeal? The smoothie will give you a quick boost, but those will help for longer." He patted her hand on the edge of the tray. "And then I can give you some paracetamol." 

"Okay." A silence fell between them as they ate, and Rose noticed that the Doctor was shirtless. She felt her cheeks flush more, though she tried to keep her eyes averted. His lithe frame was extremely appealing, almost graceful as he ate, but there was the underlying energy that he would spring up in a moment's notice into his usual exuberant self. 

She was mid chew of her cinnamon, apple, and brown sugar oatmeal when his eyes met hers, catching her admiration his defined profile. Rose vehemently hoped he couldn't see the way her ears were burning. She swallowed hard, picking up her smoothie again to hide her embarrassment at being caught. "Thanks, for this. I'll make it up to you." 

"Makeup what?" She delayed her next bite, as his entire body turned to face her. "Breakfast? Making sure you were safe?" Rose nodded slowly. "Rose, those are things any friend would do. You don't have to pay me back." 

"I don't like-"

"Owing people. I know, but I don't expect reciprocation or payment or anything." His voice had started high, almost strained, but it softened even as Rose felt her entire face burn and that instinct to close herself off begin to rise. "Healthy relationships, whether romantic or platonic, are _not_ about creating and cashing in favors."

Rose let her spoon fall into her now empty bowl. "I'll clean-"

"No, you'll drink your water and I'll throw these in the dishwasher." The Doctor was on his feet. "Why don't you get dressed, and go we'll get you home. Your friend Jack said he texted you about a key." Rose didn't have time to respond before he was out the door, leaving her to fold the two lap trays and finish her water. 

She picked up her phone, and sure enough there was a text from Jack. He'd met her mum and Mickey outside the pub they were at to get a key.

 **I placed it under the empty pot next to the Doctor's front door. Jackie said she's staying with Howard tonight, and Mickey is crashing with one of his friends.**

Rose almost responded, but realized it was barely five. Jack was probably passed out. She slipped from the bed, bracing herself for another wave of nausea, but it didn't come. Quietly, she retrieved her dress and shoes from the bathroom, and folded her borrowed pajamas neatly on the bed after making it. 

She made her way down stairs, locating her clutch on the kitchen counter next to a piece of paper. The dishwasher was running, but the Doctor was nowhere in site. "Doctor-"

"Right here." Rose yelped when he seemed to suddenly appear in the small archway to her left. "I was trying to find my favorite tie." Hid grin was far more energetic than she felt, as he began knotting it. 

"Jack said he left my key on your stoop." Rose waved her phone softly, wondering if he realized how endearing he looked like that. 

"Oh, right through the living room." He gestured to the hall the stairs were in, and Rose hurried to find it in the dim lights. Luckily, the switches were obvious by the door, and she flicked the outside one on. Sure enough, her key was there as promised. She couldn't wait to get home and shower. She may be a bit late, but she couldn't very well go to work smelling hungover. If she caught the early bus, she could run and make the one to work. 

"Got it?" John tossed his keys into the air as Rose appeared, her face twisted in obvious thoUght, or possibly a headache. 

"Yeah. Um, which direction is the nearest busstop, and do you know-" 

"I was gonna drive you home." He froze, as Rose's brow furrowed. "Then to work, if that's okay? I promised Sarah Jane and Jack and you that I'd make sure you were taken care-"

"You don't have to. I can catch the bus." 

"Rose, I want to." John honestly didn't understand why Rose was so reluctant to accept his help. "I don't want you being late for work."

The silence between them was thick, but finally Rose sighed. "If you insist. Honestly though, 'm not some damsel in distress you have to watch out for." 

"Rose, accepting a friend's help doesn't make you a damsel in distress." He contemplated grabbing the advertisment Donna had made for him to put in the paper, but decided to leave it. "Here. If you have a headache-" John pulled open the drawer he kept the travel packs of paracetamol in. He never really needed them, so keeping a whole bottle or box seemed pointless. "Water bottles in the fridge. I need to grab my bag." 

He headed back towards what was originally a sitting room but he had converted to a strange study and workshop hybrid. Finding his messenger bag, he made sure his graded papers were in it then headed back to Rose. He was relieved to see her toss the empty pill package in the rubbish bin and sip a bottle of water. 

John gestured to the door leading to the garage, and he followed behind Rose as she made her way out. He pressed the button to open the garage door, while simultaneously activating the house alarm beside it. She was waiting at the front of the car, as if uncertain. He hurried over, opening the door for her. "Sorry, I should have told you it was unlocked."

Rose felt her cheeks burn, as she slid in. She fastened her seatbelt, squinting as the gloaming dawn felt brighter than it normally would. She laid her head back against the headrest as the Doctor slid in. "Thank you, again, for taking care of me." She murmured. It was an odd sensation, experiencing help from someone except Mickey or Jack. She couldn't help but brace herself for the Doctor to ask for something in exchange. The longer he didn't ask, the less she knew how to cope with it. 

"It's no biggie. I've done this for Sarah Jane and Martha plenty of times." He shrugged as he backed into traffic. She flinched when his hand came her way, but Rose managed to swallow the reflexive whimper. She blinked in confusion at the sunglasses being exchanged. "Here. Don't need your hangover being aggravated by sunrise." 

"T-t-thanks." Rose slid them onto her face, trying to force her heart rate back to normal. For the first time, the Doctor was silent. Rose couldn't help but glance over at him, hoping the dark lenses hid her eyes. She had seen that expression on his face, while waiting on him to finish writing an email last week to ask for his lunch order. He was working something over, thinking about a problem. 

The silence was more disconcerting than his condition-less help. "You're quiet." She yawned softly, clutching her items in her lap. "I'm used to your rambling."

"I didn't want to exacerbate your headache." His smile was soft, and Rose risked a slow turn of her head to watch him driving. "And I'm thinking over some things I need to get done this weekend." That easy, uneven smile lifted his lips in the red glow of the traffic light. "We're going to be at your building soon. I'll drop you off and wait nearby." 

"You're gonna wait?" Rose honestly couldn't understand why he was doing this. Men were not unconditionally friendly like this. Mickey was different, because she'd known him since toddlerhood. Jack and Ianto were exemptions, because they were happily married to each other, and they knew her history. 

Jimmy had started off sweet, as had his friends. Hadn't she learned her lesson from him? Hadn't she learned her lesson from the former store manager at Henricks multiple times? Men weren't nice to girls like her for any reason other than to get reciprocation. 

"Yeah. I said I'd drive you to work too, remember?" John couldn't wrap his head around Rose's barely veiled surprise at his offer. "I always keep my word, unless there's something unavoidable that interferes." Again, her posture, the unmistakable tension between her shoulder, the way she'd jerked when he handed her the sunglasses, and the way she always tempered herself down at work when she was excited over something hit him with a wave of familiarity. For the first time, as he waited in a turning lane, a flash of a memory filled his mind. 

_Carseat straps pressed into his chest, as John leaned forward to grab the pink sleeve in front of him. He couldn't quite reach, so he opened his mouth to speak. Before he could, the pink sleeve moved, holding a cup with dancing dinos on it. He took it happily, grabbing his hair in one hand as he enjoyed the sweet juice with the other. The pink sleeve bumped the red sleeve in the other seat, as it went back, making the car jerk. Then the loud pink flinched back from the red, as a crack filled the car._

_Red moved, turning a knob beneath the clock, and the sound of an orchestra overpowered the soft sobs from the brown curls now resting against the window in front of him. "M'ju!" His hands waved the empty cup at pink sleeves. The sobs stopped, and pink sleeves returned._

"Doctor!" John jumped as Rose's voice jerked him to the sound of horns honking. "Green." He shook himself, making the turn. Rose's building loomed ahead. He felt his chest clench, as she slipped the sunglasses off and pulled her key from her clutch. "Don' wanna make you waste petrol waiting on me. Um, you already realized I'm in the estates, so no sense making an excuse for you not to come up." 

John was still shaken from the vision. He didn't know where it came from. His earliest memory was sitting on Grandad's lap and watching the telly, while Donna showed off her Easter Sunday dress, "I'll just turn off the engine while-" It couldn't be.... no.... he'd been so young, too young. 

"Doctor, 'm tryin' ta ask if you'll walk me up and wait inside." Rose's swallow was hard enough that he heard it, and the next word came out like a strained whisper. "Please?" 

"Of course." John pulled in to a spot as a scooter vacated it, then slipped out. Rose beat him to her door. "Rose, who-" he stopped the question before it could escape his tongue, stumbling to fix it. "Who all lives with you? Just your mum?"

"Yeah. She's not in still. Don't mind the mess. We weren't expecting company, but, I think if I left ya downstairs my Gran may come back from the dead and haunt me for not inviting you in to wait." Finally, for the first time since the trivia game, John was dazzled by Rose's genuine smile. He let her lead the way, and as he focused on the way she took the stairs, he found himself finishing the question in his mind.

_Rose, who hurt you?_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Rose made quick work of her shower, choosing to throw her wet hair up into a tight ponytail instead of blow drying it to style. She'd left the Doctor in the living room watching the telly, but she knew he had to be bored. So, she tried to get dressed as quickly as possible, so she could talk while she did her makeup. 

"What's your fish's name?" Came his call, as she quickly zipped her skirt up. Her hangover was fading now, but she still felt groggy and sluggish. 

"Triton." She called back, opening the door to the hall. "What time's it. I just have to finish my makeup." Sure enough, his smile appeared around the corner, so she waved him over.

"You've got a good twenty minutes before we have to leave and not rush." John did his best to not blatantly admire the way the pink blouse fell like waves along Rose's curves. He had to try even harder not to make his deep inhale of the warm steam that was a mixture of her perfume and shampoo filling the hall noticeable. "Hope you don't mind, but I packed your lunchbox." He fiddled with his coat sleeve as she nearly punched herself in the eye with a egg looking sponge. 

"You what?" She didn't seem offended, just surprised. 

"Yeah, I saw a note from your mum on the fridge that she left you food in a container with a blue lid, and I found fresh fruit and some icepacks." Rose's cheeks were turning pink, and John looked down. He was immediately treated to her freshly lotioned legs, so he looked away. "Figured it'd save you some time." 

"Doctor, you didn't have to." Rose's instinct was to cringe or be wary of the gesture, but John looked a bit too puppy-eyed to be hiding maliciousness. "Seriously, you can' keep doin' things like that. Makes our friendship unbalanced, yeah?" 

She watched his reflection and she began applying her foundation. He was leaning against the wall, watching her with a glimmer of amusement on his face. She was having an issue gauging his intentions. "Listen, do you understand that if I'm not a helpful gentleman, my mum and sister will both appear and beat me around the head?" She suppressed a smile at his joking tone. "Besides, friendships are only unbalanced if one side uses favors to gain leverage to be used as blackmail or guilt later." 

"Well, then I have a lot to repay before I start being guilted, huh?" Rose hoped her tone sounded more joking than it probably came out. She knew that cycle of relationship well, and the anxiety of being sucked into it again was stirring. "In case you try to blackmail or guilt me into your black market star chart ring." She gave herself a mental applause foe the quick addition. His smile blazed, making her heart flutter. 

"You figured me out, Rose Tyler. Guess I have to silence you now." John beamed as Rose snorted and almost stabbed herself in the eye with concealer. Hee mentally thanked Donna for forcing him on make trips to help swatch colors. 

His brain decided to choose their chuckles to interject a question it had been contemplating since they'd arrived. "Have you ever been married?" The giggles dissolved into a choking cough from her. "Sorry, my brain sometimes operates faster than my tongue realizes what I'm saying." 

"Doctor!" Rose was turning magenta under her makeup, as she regained her breath and gaped at him. "I.... could you get me a neckbrace! That subject change gave me whiplash." John winced and looked away, feeling every bit the moron. _good job you buffoon! She's never gonna talk to you again! May as well have asked if she was divorced because he was abusive. She'd have probably been as embarrassed as now._

"But no... no, I've never been married. 'M not even twenty-one yet Doctor." Rose focused her breathing, as she saw the genuine cringe of embarrassment. "Have you?" _Where had that even come from?_

"No... no.. I was almost engaged a few years ago. We split right before I bought the ring." The Doctor's shrug was nonchalant, and Rose didn't understand how he could be so casual about it. "It wasn't a bad or a good break up. Sorta a mutual agreement that we weren't really in love. She just married some French politician."

"I'd say sorry, but you don't seem upset." Rose began coating her mascara on, trying her best to ignore the sensations that had begun building last night and were slowly unfurling now. His shrug and subsequent lean against the wall in the hall only made her throat begun to dry. She needed to change the subject so she could focus. "I need to find some way to make all this up to you."

"You really don't-"

"I do!" 

John jerked at the intensity of her words. "Okay! If it means that much to you, then okay." He threw his hands up, his pulse momentarily racing in response to her defensive expressions. "I'll cut back on doing things. I didn't mean to make you feel so uncomfortable. I'd never want that." He honestly thought her discomfort was from lack of experience in unconditional gifts. Now it was apparent, she actually didn't like them.

"Thank you." The relief didn't just coat Rose's voice. He could see it in her entire demeanor. "I'm done." John forced himself not to compliment her appearance, again confused by the woman before him. He was attracted to her, no doubt there. He definitely wanted her to like him. _But I don't like that I've made her feel uncomfortable. I don't want her to feel pressured or like all I want is to date her. I'd be just as happy being friends._

"Earth to the Doctor." He blinked shocked to find Rose had stepped past him to get her lunchbag and purse. "You done day dreaming?" 

"Uh, yeah." Rose felt her cheeks flush when he turned that smile on her. Now that she was back in her comfort zone, with her hangover waning, she was beginning to recall a lot from the night before. She kept pulling the memories out, as she locked up behind her and headed down to the Doctor's call. 

"We have time to stop at that drive thru coffee place near campus. Do you need more caffeine?" The Doctor's focus was on traffic, and Rose quickly opened her wallet to make sure her card was there. 

"Yeah, why not." Rose finally let herself settle into the seat comfortably. She recalled hazily that she'd been quite comfortable under his coat the night before. "Why'd your sister move out?" The question blurted out before she could stop. "I can't remember if you-"

"She's getting married in two weeks." John replied, and as the words left his mouth an idea formed in his mind. "You said you wanted a way to repay me."

"Yeah..." Rose looked a bit suspicious when he glanced at her. 

"Listen, if I don't bring a plus one, Donna will stick me next to her friend. This friend has a tendency to get.... handsy with me when she drinks." John finally looked fully over as he stopped at a light. "Would you like to come with me?" He saw her eyes flick in that unsure way when she thought he was being too much. "You don't have to. I mean you can always plan your own way. Nevermind-"

"Why not? We had fun last night. That'd be fun." Rose mentally shook herself. _Friends go to weddings as plus ones. Stop assuming he just wants to bang you._ "We'll call that repayment for the rides to yours and then home."

"Brilliant!" Rose couldn't help but catch his contagious grin. "That leaves breakfast and putting your lunch together, right?" Something about him changed, and she realized he'd been tense since their tiff in the hall. _I hope I didn't offend him._

"Right!" She squinted at the menu for the coffee place, as they waited for the worker to welcome them. "I just want a caramel latte with cinnamon on top." She did a calculation of the price and pulled out some cash. "Here."

"I-" The Doctor was obviously about to protest, but Rose found herself smiling when he took the money. "Caramel latte, cinnamon on top." She sunk back into her seat, grinning in victory as he stuck his tongue out at her. 

"Was that so hard?" She teased, putting her wallet in her purse. Her phone buzzed, a message from Ianto on the screen asking on Jack's behalf if she was safe. She hummed to herself, sending the codeword that Jack had invented with her to assure them. 

**Rose: Peachy Keen!  
Ianto: You on your way to work?  
Rose: Yup! The Dr. gave me a lift home and a ride to the school.   
Ianto: Great! We love you! Have a good day!**

"Jack making sure I didn't murder you?" The Doctor laughed, and Rose jumped when a coffee was held in front of her face. His expression was friendly, but there was more to that question in her opinion. 

"His husband, actually." She paused to gauge his reaction. If he wasn't okay with that, then their friendship-

"Oh! What's his husband's name?" The Doctor didn't look phased at all, and Rose felt her opinion of him rise. "Takes a strong type of man to marry a police officer." 

"Actually, Jack's a detective. He and Ianto met the day Jack moved here from the States five years ago." John couldn't help but smile as Rose explained her friends. "I met them last year. I love them to death." There was something in her tone, and in her eyes, and he couldn't place it. 

"Well any friend of yours is a friend of mine." He reached over to squeeze her hand, as he would Martha or Sarah Jane or Osgood, but as soon as his fingers met her wrist, she flinched with a gasp. "Sorry," he pulled back.

"No, it's fine." Rose's cheeks were flushed as she toyed with her cardboard cupsleeve. "Doctor, please don't tell anyone I live on the estates." Again, he didn't understand why she cared, but he didn't want to disrespect her. 

"Of course." He cut through traffic to pull onto campus. John knew he would figure out what her story was, but he wouldn't push it. It was becoming more and more apparent that their relationship, whether friends or more, was going to hang on how well he respected her boundaries. Rose had up walls, and they couldn't be climbed over or dug under.


	9. Chapter 9

"Who is she?" John flinched as Donna's demand flew through the phone. "This Plus one?" He should have known she'd call as soon as he texted. "Is this the girl you were crushing on when I moved out?" 

"I'm not cr-" John stuttered, as Donna laughed so loud it cut him off. "I mean, I like her. I... just... I don't think she's looking to date right now. She's the receptionist for my department." He knew there was no point denying himself to his sister. Donna could read him like a book. He liked Rose, and he wasn't sure what to do with those emotions. He had to keep them to himself. "Either way, no need to sit me with Nerys now." He checked his email again, looking to see if Dr. Jones had emailed back about his appointment. 

"She'll be so jealous. I can't wait to meet Rose. I have to go back in. See you later space brain." The call ended, and John ruffled his hair. While he had been proctoring his exam for his class, the memory he'd experienced on the drive to Rose's had bugged him. 

He'd been in weekly therapy from the time he was old enough to talk until he graduated with his first university degree at sixteen. Then he'd progressed to monthly, until he was eighteen, then on a need by need basis. He hadn't had a session in a few years. The new memories were not being phased by his learned coping techniques. "Come on, Harriet." John said softly, as he refreshed his email again. He couldn't remember a time he'd actually been impatient towards her. 

Shoving back from his desk, he stood up. Pacing always helped him think, but he couldn't make sense of the memory. "I was barely four." He murmured, tugging at his ear.  
"I can't even remember what they looked like." John and Harriet had experimented many times to see if his extraordinary memory would reveal any remnants of his biological family. It had never worked.

"Maybe it wasn't even a memory." He huffed, turning to pace back across the room. John didn't like what it was implying. He had, upon learning he had no major discernible memories of his first four years of life, asked his family to never tell him the circumstances of his orphaning. He'd been ten at the time, and his family had abided that. He knew he was adopted, they were dead, and his surviving relative hadn't been mentally capable of caring for him. She'd stayed in his biological family's home with a caregiver until she died. 

"It wasn't a memory. It can't have been," he grumbled, adjusting his tie and smoothing his jacket. He had a group tutoring session in three minutes, and he couldn't let his students down. He didn't have time to deal with whether or not his biological father had abused his biological mother. If he couldn't remember, then he wouldn't have to consider it.

Rose waved at the Doctor, when he hurried past her. He beamed back, while he pushed the front doors open. "Tutoring session in the library 'til two!" There was something not quite as exuberant as she was used to, but she didn't have time to worry. The phone was ringing almost as soon as he was out of sight. 

"Gallifrey University Science and Research wing, this is Rose Tyler. How may I direct your call?" She hoped her voice didn't sound like she'd been caught off guard. She pulled up the directory, as an oddly familiar voice filled the line. 

"Yes, this is Alessandra Ford from Jones and Jones office. I'm trying to reach Doctor John Smith in regards to an appointment." Rose almost knocked her water over as it registered who the caller was. 

"Alessandra as in Ianto Jones-Harkness and Harriet Jones' scheduler?" Rose had to blink twice. "It's Rose, as in Ianto's former patient and current friend!" 

"Oh! I thought it was you, but I didn't want to assume." Alessandra said with a soft chuckle. "Is Doctor Smith available?"

"He just left for about an hour. I can transfer you to his voicemail." Rose waited only briefly before Alessandra spoke.

"That'd be great." 

"Transferring you now! Have a great day." Rose dragged the call banner across to the Doctor's connection and waited for the beep of the transfer. Then she hung up and leaned back into her chair. "The Doctor sees a therapist?" She shot upright, digging her phone out. 

**Rose: Yan! Do you or Harriet have a patient called Doctor John Smith?**

She exhaled as the blue bubble indicated he was typing. 

**Ianto: You know its against the law for me to answer these sort of questions.  
Rose: I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.  
Ianto: Rose, I can't tell you who our patients are.**

She dropped her phone back on the desk wnd chewed her lip. _The Doctor needs an appointment with a mental health doctor? He actually made appointment?_ Rose leaned forward to type him an IM reminding him to check his messages. He always forgot. _Maybe, just maybe he is different._ the thought came without warning, and Rose felt her stomach give a flutter of excitement. Ianto had openly voiced how disappointed he was that too many men neglected anything to do with their mental health. 

He had helped her into the best therapy plan for her abuse and near death experience, but he'd had to release her as a patient when he learned his own husband had been the officer that responded to her case. It was a conflict of interest. _I could always just ask the Doctor._ Rose's inner voice was stoking the eager sensation in her core. 

She reached for her phone, barely grabbing it, when she registered the feeling. It was a crush. She was developing a crush on the Doctor. _No!_ she growled in her mind, calling on her coping mechanisms to help identify a way to handle the emotions. None of them seemed quite right. "I have to ignore it." She grumbled. 

Rose had learned her lesson with jimmy. She'd seen it time and time again on the estates with other girls. _Besides, what would a man like him want with a girl like me, besides sex._ Her inner voice sounded way too much like Jimmy, and Rose sucked in a breath. 

She immediately reached out and touched her keyboard, focusing on its texture, hearing the click of the keys, and seeing the letters type in the empty IM. Then she picked up her cup, tasting the ice water from the breakroom, and then she smelled the small plant she kept on her desk. "I am valid. I am worthy. I am whole." She breathed on the words, until the gut deep fear began to loosen its grip. 

Her mobile dinged out a text tone, and Rose jumped in surprise. 

**The Doctor: I forgot to tell you. I'm expecting a call from my Psychiatrist.**

**The Doctor: I think they called my mobile while I was running to the library. Can you send it to my voicemail if they call in?**

Rose exhaled heavily, still trying to center herself. So she was right. 

**Rose: Already called and I already transferred them**

She paused for a moment, taken a bit aback by how open he'd been. She hadn't even been confident enough to admit to other people she'd gotten help. Rose wondered just how comfortable he was in discussing it. She decided to hint, and it would leave him free to talk about it. 

**Rose: Is it the banana addiction?  
The Doctor: 😝 No! Although Harriet is concerned about that! Everyone should be in one form of therapy or treatment. Taking care of one's mental health is important.   
Rose: Agreed! Now tutor! 🤓  
Doctor: Yes Ma'am. 👨🏻💻**

She settled back in her chair and put her phone back down. Rose double checked her task list, but it was empty. So she opened a browser and pulled up advertisements for places to rent. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone reported her new job. She wanted to be out by the end of the month, so her mum wouldn't lose the flat. 

As she scrolled through, she couldn't help but sigh. The costs for single flats wasn't too bad, but she couldn't get first and last months rent up that fast. Plus, the costs for utilities, and then there was furniture to buy as well. Finding a room would be easy, but she didn't want to put another woman in danger if Jimmy came around. She contemplated, momentarily, if Jack and Ianto wouldn't mind her temporarily crashing in their spare room. She swiftly decided against it, as it would add far too much time on her commute. Her desk phone rang, making her jump. 

"Gallifrey University science and research wing, Rose Tyler speaking. How may I direct your call?" She said primly, as soon as she'd picked up the phone. 

"Oh! You sound so pretty!" Rose blinked in shock at the woman's voice that came through. "Hi, this is Donna. I'm John's twin sister! I just wanted to talk to you for a second." She almost choked on her own spit. "He said you're his plus one, but the dumbo didn't tell me your plate choice!" 

"Oh! Um, he didn't ask." Rose managed to regain her decorum, feeling her cheeks flush at the compliment that finally registered. "Honestly, I'm fine with whatever. 'M not picky." She knew how complicated it could be changing catering plans so far out, and she didn't want to cause issues. 

"Oh, no. That won't fly with me missy! Just ask my twin! Your choice matters! We made sure to get plenty of extras, just in case. I just need to put your choice on the seating chart. We have beef, chicken, fish, and vegetarian choices." Donna's friendly tone had changed to no nonsense in a flash. Rose felt herself smiling at the way Donna had recognized her trying to minimize her own preferences. 

"Beef." Rose didn't know why, but she already liked Donna. There was just something in her tone that told her the Doctor's twin was as friendly and slightly crazy as he was. "Also, what sorta outfit? Is it like full formal, like a gown or tea dress? Would slacks be-

"Tea dress would be perfect! Just nothing black." There was someone speaking on the other end of the line, and Donna paused. "I've got to go! Can't wait to meet you, Rose. John's excited you're coming too!" The line went dead.

It took a moment for Rose to lower the receiver into the cradle. Then Donna's parting words settled into her mind. _The Doctor's excited I'm going?_ She blew out a breath, returning to her browsing. "I don't get it." She sighed.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 **Rose: I'm dress shopping. Do I need to color coordinate or...**

John blinked down at the text that sent his phone off in the waiting area of Harriet's office. He'd been trying so hard not to focus on the hazy images he'd seen, but they'd filled his dreams for two nights now. He shoved them aside to type out a response. 

**Doctor: Not really. Donna said she told you just no black 🤷🏻♂️  
Rose: I don't want to embarrass you as your +1**

John rolled his eyes as he swallowed a chuckle. Although he and Rose had both been too busy to talk over the past couple of days, he could imagine her exasperated expression clearly. 

**Rose: What color is your tux? Black and white?  
Doctor: Black with lavender waist coat, bowtie, and pocket square.   
Doctor: Wear whatever makes you comfortable.**

John knew whatever she chose Rose would look radiant in. His phone dinged again, but Harriet was opening her door. "John, Come in." He shoved his phone away and hurried to his feet. He followed her into her office, grinning. "How are you?"

"Good, but a little confused." He flopped down onto the sofa facing her bookshelf, as Harriet took her usual seat. "Thanks for seeing me on a Saturday. You read my email?" John was eager to get to the point. This wasn't uncommon for their rare sessions, as they had been working as Doctor/Patient for over twenty years. 

"I did. You said you think you had a memory." Harriet spoke with open eagerness and curiosity. They had long since established that the ease into the sessions was pointless, because years of them had laid a solid groundwork of comfort. "Let's talk about this. Where were you when the memory struck?"

"I was driving Rose home." John had replayed it over and over in his head. He could recall exactly what had triggered it. "I passed her a pair of sunglasses, and she flinched away from me. Then, I began connecting the dots on her behaviors, and it just hit me."

"Who's Rose again?" Harriet's question caught John off guard. "You mentioned her in the email and again now." 

"Oh, Rose Tyler. She's the new secretary for our wing." John felt his chest fill slightly, as it did every time he pictured her. "She had too much to drink at trivia night and then locked herself out. I let her stay the night." He did his best to block out the image of sleepy, hung over Rose sticking her tongue out at him, but he only succeeded in making his ears burn. 

"So the memory came after you noticed some of her behaviors that you believe were indicative of abuse, is that correct?" It had been ages since Harriet had needed to pick up a notebook for their session, so John found himself squinting in surprise when she began writing. 

"Well yes." John didn't have to think too hard, as his brain had already created a Rose-Mannerisms chart in his thoughts. "If she's blocked from an exit by a man, she gets really tense. When she gets really excited about something, she'll quiet herself down and apologize. She flinches, doesn't seem to understand everything isn't quid pro quo, and she can't meet my eyes when I compliment her or try to be extra kind or helpful." Harriet was scribbling again, and John tried to peek. He couldn't see the words. 

"Okay, so these things triggered the memory. Tell me about it."

"I'm in a carseat, and I want juice. A woman in pink, with brown hair, passes me a sippie cup with dancing dinosaurs." The image drew up in his mind, just as clear as the first time. "When she pulls her arm back up, she bumps a man wearing red. I can't see where his hand goes, but she flinches away and I hear a smack." He rubbed his eyes, heaving a sigh as he shifted on the sofa. Reliving it was still painful in his chest. "Then she cries and he turns the music up. She only stops crying when I ask for more juice." 

"That's the memory?" John nodded, exhaling everything in his lungs. "Well you know I've had your case file since you were young. You were my very first patient." She closed her notebook, and John met her gaze. "You've adamantly refused to be given details in the past. Why now?"

"I don't know." John was surprised at the confession on his tongue. Why did he want the explanation now? Was it the not knowing? The reason didn't fill his mouth well, so he ignored it. He chose, instead, a random explanation. "If I'm beginning to remember, then maybe knowing will help." 

"Hearing me tell you anything can also skew the memories." Harriet's lips pulled up in a knowing expression that usually humored him, but left him feeling irritated in that moment. "You can access your file any day. You can ask your mum and granddad. Instead you made an appointment with me. Was it really because of the memory?" 

"Of course it was!" John turned away from her as he shot to his feet to pace. The silence was thick, and his irritation bubbled in his chest. He paused by a vase near a window, fingers touching the flowers there. One of the roses hadn't opened, and it was turning brown along its petal's edges. His frustration softened, and he slid it from the rest. 

"I tried stimulating other memories." He examined the neck of the stem, finding it still solid and supportive of the blossom. Then he turned it gently to look at the base of the stem. It hadn't been snipped since it was plucked. "Do you have scissors?" 

"Yes." He crouched down, examining the water in the vase. It looked fine enough. In a moment, a pair of scissors were being extended. He cut the stem slightly, catching the part that had been closed and preventing growth in his hand. "Stimulating the other memories hasn't worked?"

"No. I also don't want my memories to be swayed either." He slipped the rose back into the vase where he'd removed it, then stepped back. The wilted petals wouldn't recover fully, but the rest would be able to. "I hate not knowing, but I want organic memories." 

"Let's talk about what you were doing to try to trigger new memories," Harriet said, drawing his attention back to her. She had been writing again, and he tried to peer over her hand. She covered her notes before he could. "You're living in the home you were born in. Are you looking at the photos there-"

"No. Those are all still packed away." John could recall the nurse and caseworker explaining the lack of photos when he came to sign Aunt Clara's next of kin paperwork when he turned twenty-one and met the inheritance stipulations. Seeing photos of his parents apparently sent her into fits, even when the dementia had fully taken her mind. "I never really saw the point in dragging them out. I mean, they were my relatives, but they weren't _family_."

"Not even your Aunt Clara? I mean, you were her power of attorney for the last year of her life." Harriet's question made John pause by the weird globe ornament on one of her boom cases. He reached out to tap it. 

"She wasn't really family either. I just read to her so she wouldn't be lonely." He often tried not to think about the petite woman in the bed, how she was only twenty years older than him. He knew _her_ story, somewhat. "It's not like she could say anything. She hadn't spoken since my birth mother took her in when her asylum closed down, or so the doctors said." 

"So, what methods are you taking to try to trigger the memories?" 

"Nothing specific. Just focusing on this one and leaving my mind open for me." John shrugged as he turned from the globe and leaned against the bookshelf. "That's why I came to see you. If you won't share my case with me, because it may taint my memories, then help me find ways to trigger more." 

"Are you sure you even want them?" Harriet closed her book, and John held her gaze while  
She tapped her pen to the cover. He nodded. "Then maybe you should look at what... or who triggered them in the first place." The bulb went off in his mind even as Harriet arched an eyebrow. 

"Oh... but." He felt his frown drop into place even as his brain tumbled the thoughts together. "I don't want to start associating Rose with possible negative memories. I like being around her. I like how easy she is to talk to and laugh with." 

"Even though you have to watch your mannerisms?" 

"Yes! I don't really have to 'watch' them. I just have to remember she isn't Reinette. She doesn't need me to do-"

"Why the comparison to your ex?" Harriet cut him off with a question, and John froze mid gesture. He felt his ears burn as her lips pulled up in a smile. 

"Well, because I like Rose. I mean I _like_ her." He tugged at his ear and exhaled, feeling himself smile. "It's okay if she doesn't like me back. Obviously she's been through it. I just want her to know I can be a safe place for her. I want her to know I expect nothing out of her." 

"Then, if your only true expectation is friendship, you shouldn't be afraid." John sucked in a breath. In truth, he realized he hadn't been as busy as he pretended. He had been avoiding Rose to avoid exactly what was being discussed now. "Have you tried explaining to her what happened?" 

"No. I should though." John found himself smiling as Harriet stood up. "Especially if she's my plus one for Donna's wedding." He was digging his mobile out even as Harriet tries to stop him. "Thanks Harriet! Bye!" He jerked open the door, clicking Rose's contact on the screen. 

Rose blew a breath out as she dropped to her chair across from Jack and Mickey. She eyed the dress bag warily, still not sure it was going to go over well with the Doctor's sister. Jack had made the executive decision after two hours of fitting rooms. The boys didn't even notice her arrival except to snag their drinks off the tray. 

"And then Cayden was like 'but those aren't my socks!'" Jack howled, sending Mickey into a fit of laughter. "I'm telling you. Military service in the states was nuts." 

"I bet!" Mickey was calming down, and Rose batted at his hand when he went for her chips. "Hey!"

"These are yours!" She slid him his own container, while Jack scrolled through his phone. 

"So, Mickey hasn't met this Doctor yet either?" Jack queried. Rose felt her ears burn, and she looked down at her food. "I mean, you have a date with him in a week, but we haven't met him?"

"It's not a date!" Rose hurled a chip at Jack's head, before picking up her burger. "He needed someone to protect him from his sister's handsy friend." Despite agreeing to go dress shopping with her, Jack hadn't really pushed for details. Now he was apparently in nosey mode. "We're just friends. You two know I've sworn off dating." She took a bite, refusing to look at her friend.

"Are you sure. Every time he's brought up, you get all pink and can't look at us." Mickey snickered, and Rose kicked him hard under the table. "That means you like him." 

"As a friend!" Rose took another bite, intentionally avoiding their stupid smug faces. "When, besides you Mickey, has dating caused me anything but trouble?" She huffed through her chews. She let her eyes wander over to the new bath bomb and soap shop that had just opened across from the maternity store.

"Hey, don't knock the guy off yet!" She snorted at Jack's protest. "He's smart, respectful, and takes the time to make his mental health a priority." Rose almost regretted asking Jack to weasel a confirmation out of Ianto over whether or not John was Harriet's patient. Jack had refused on principle. 

"And he is way out of my league. I don't even have my A levels, and he's about to go for a fourth PhD!" She dropped her burger and snagged her drink. 

"That's Jimmy's fault, not yours." Mickey's playful tone was gone, and Rose finally met his faze. She took a slow sip. "You were second in your year before he got to ya." 

"Didn't your therapist recommended going back to finish?" Jack was still scrolling, food untouched minus the chips. Rose rolled her eyes. Honestly the man couldn't take five minutes from his husband. Ianto was supposed to be having a prebirthday party spa treatment. "Even so, I don't think he'd care. I mean, the way you've described him, he doesn't seem the type."

"Unless something happened between you two-"

"No!" Rose cut Mickey off, her heart momentarily pounding. "The Doctor was respectful. He..." She felt her cheeks burning now, as she recalled the embarrassment of the morning they'd spent together. "He even held hair back 'nd helped wipe my face when I was sick." 

"You didn't say he was fucking hot!" Jack exclaimed, turning his phone to show Mickey. "That hair! That smirk!" Rose realized with a jolt of horror that the phone Jack had been holding the entire time was hers. "You haven't friend requested him on Facebook?" 

"Jack! No!" Rose reached for him, but Mickey's cackle indicated it was already too late. She pushed her chair back, ready to come around to save her dignity. Then, her phone began to ring. "Jack!"

"Do it!" Crooned Mickey. Rose became suddenly aware the surrounding tables we're watching them. The mischievous smirk between her friends filled her with dread _No. No._

"Speak of the devil. Were your ears ringing?" Rose kicked Jack hard in the shin, which only resulted in him pinning her to his side with an arm. "Well, yes. We were just talking to Rose about how come we haven't met her new work B.F.F."

"I will fucking murder you!" She wriggled hard, contemplating biting his bicep. 

"Oh, she's right here, but she's eating. Listen." Rose felt horror fill her, as Jack beamed down at her. "It's my husband's birthday tonight. We're having a small party at Platform One." 

"Jack!" Rose whinged, trying to free her arms. Jack was giving her no leeway. 

"Casual attire, no gift needed. We're doing karaoke!" Mickey was crying in laughter at Jack's triumphant grin. Rose prayed he would turn it down. "She said it'd make her night." At those words, Rose growled and bit her friend hard through his sleeve. "Nnnnnnng, see you at seven!" He handed her back her phone, and his stupid smile was still on as he rubbed his arm. "Oh, yeah, he likes you." 

She stared down as a text from the Doctor pinged through. 

**Doctor: I'm your work BFF? 🥺  
Doctor: Also, Jack seems really nice!   
Doctor: Can't wait to hear you sing!**

Rose heaved a sigh. She couldn't kill his enthusiasm now. "I hate you both." She fell back in her chair, trying to ignore the slight butterflies in her gut.

 **Rose: He's all an act.  
Rose: Can't wait to hear YOU sing. **

She set her phone down and stared at the men. "'M literally gonna murder you both."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

John smoothed his shirt when he stepped inside the pub. He felt a bit giddy, thanks to Jack's delivery of Rose's enthusiasm combined with her facebook request. He scanned the room, trying to find her. He spotted one section of the area near the karaoke stage had three tables pushed together, gift bags, and a cake. There were a group of people gathered around, but no sign of Rose. Before he could pull out his phone, a well built man was in front of him.

John was blinded by a Hollywood smile, clean smelling cologne, and sparkling blue eyes. "Ahhhh the mysterious Doctor has arrived." He wasn't dumb, and it was obvious the man was checking him out as he stood back. "Captain Jack Harkness." Came the man's slick introduction, and John was immediately flattered and amused by the open appreciation. "Sorry, Deputy Inspector now."

"Doctor John Smith." He extended his hand, flashing Jack an appreciative smile back. Men may not be his preferred flavor, but John could admit to admiring an attractive one. "Nice to put a face to a name." 

"Same. Come over, let me introduce you to the crew." John didn't resist the arm around his back, as he was guided to the table. "This is Gwen, my former partner, and her husband." A cute but vicious looking brunette grinned up from writing on a karaoke slip.

"That's Jackie Tyler, Rose's mum, and her boyfriend Howard." John almost choked on his spit at the blonde woman carrying trays of food towards the table. _Her mum is here?_ "Ever need a the best haircut with the hottest gossip, she's the one. Warning, she slaps." The trays were saved from her grip by another man, who eased them down and kissed her cheek. "That's Mickey, Rose's best friend since they could walk." Jack's hand on his shoulder tightened as he leaned in to whisper. "Mickey and I are so much harder to impress than Jackie, so, take that as you will." 

"Noted." John didn't let his smile falter. 

"Everyone, this is the Doctor John Smith! Rose's friend from work!" Everyone turned to look, and John noticed Jack had only introduced people who obviously had some emotional or protective relationship to Rose. The message was abundantly clear in Mickey and Jack's expressions. If he wanted to pursue Rose, this was the wolf pack he'd have to befriend first. _See, its becoming more and more clear that Rose was abused_

"Hello!" He offered a wave, taking Mickey's overly firm shake, and Jackie's exuberant introduction and comments on his hair. 

"Men pay me so much to get this color and texture." Luckily, she didn't touch it. "Ahhh there's my Rose!" John spun, not caring he looked too anxious, to see Rose coming in carrying a cake box beside a smiling man. "And the birthday boy himself!" 

"Sorry, there was traffic!" The man, Ianto apparently, laughed, accepting the hugs he had incoming. John beamed at Rose, as she set the box down. Her gaze found his, and as always, butterflies erupted in his gut. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink, which only amplified her red jacket and high pony ensemble. 

"Doctor." To John's surprise, Rose gave him a brief hug. He'd barely had time to register it before she pulled away. "Thanks for comin'." 

"Well thanks for asking Jack to invite me." 

"Actually, she didn't. I just wanted to see her blush all night." Jack chuckled, and John snorted past his flicker of hope when Rose kicked the man hard in the calf. _Maybe she is interested, but just cautious?_ There was no denying the blush turning her ears pink. 

"Well I'm glad either way." He tried to convey to Rose, by stepping closer, that if she was interested so was he. John wouldn't push the issue. He wanted to be her friend even if nothing else came of it. "Let me cover the birthday boy's next round." John felt his hopes rise when she didn't step away

"Less out of my pocket!" Jack grinned. 

Rose tried to do her best not to stare at how wonderful the Doctor looked. He was wearing the best pair of jeans she'd ever seen on him, with a maroon button down shirt. The shirt was unbuttoned just enough to tease a crisp white shirt underneath, and the sleeves were rolled to his elbows. She could murder Jack for his comment about making her blush. 

As they mingled, she found herself watching the Doctor. He blended in to her group as if he'd always been a part. Jack had given her several looks behind the Doctor's back, which she had ignored. Even her Mum seemed to find him funny, laughing out loud as he reassured her about his hair not being a wig. 

"We're up." The Doctor's voice made Rose jump, as she found his hand thrust into her line of sight. She realized the karaoke dj was waving mics at them. "Come on." 

"But, I, wha-" Rose stuttered as she took his hand and found herself being pulled on stage. "Doctor-"

"You didn't sign us up?" He looked confused as he took his mic, and Rose took hers. "I didn't" 

"IT WAS ME!" Roared Jack, and Rose wanted to murder the man. She didn't even have time to see the screen before the Doctor was singing. 

"I can show you the world, shining shimmering splendid." Rose felt her breath catch as his fingers curled around her elbow gently, pulling her closer to the monitor. "Tell me Princess when did you last let your heart decide." She could feel her cheeks burn while he sang. His eyes were wide and twinkling, and his smile infected his tone. He was a decent singer, which surprised her. 

_I'm going to kill Jack_. She seethed internally, as the Doctor finished his lines. "A whole new world. A dazzling place I never knew." She tried not to be distracted by the look of shocked wonder on the Doctor's face. She didn't need to look at the lyrics, but she didn't know where else to look. "But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear. Now I'm in a whole new world with you."

The Doctor was beaming that beautiful, intoxicating grin of his, and Rose decided to relax enough to really show Jack up. "Unbelievable sights. Indescribable feelings. Soaring, tumbling, free-wheeling through an endless diamond sky." She grabbed the Doctor's hand pulling him closer, staring up into those dazzling coffee brown orbs. 

"A whole new world." She could feel the Doctor's joy almost radiating out, as he gave her a small twirl. 

"Don't you dare close your eyes." 

"A hundred thousand things to see." 

"Hold your breath, it gets better." 

They finished out the song, like that, interacting with each earning a ton of whistles and cheers. Rose didn't realize she was still holding the Doctor's hand until they made it back to the group. It felt so good, so pleasant. Then, she saw him, at the end of the bar. "Jimmy." She thought gasped, feeling her heart race. The man turned to look at her, and shame poured lava in her veins when she realized it wasn't Jimmy. 

She looked down at the hand still clasping hers, and without thinking she pulled on it to interrupt the Doctor and Jack's conversation. "Can I talk to you?" 

"Yeah. Sure." He was still grinning, but Rose shook herself. She couldn't let herself be fooled. She couldn't let her guard down. 

She led him out to a small corner of the smoker's patio, and only then did she release his hand. "I don't date." She blurted, needing to clear the air. "I mean, I don't want you getting-"

"The wrong idea." She held her breath, bracing for an outburst, but the Doctor just smiled. "I didn't, Rose." His fingers found hers again, and she almost yanked her hand away, but there was no rejection in his tone or anger in his touch. "I'm just a hand holdy person, ask anyone!" Rose tried not to let her relief show, as he continued. "If it makes you uncomfortable-" 

"It doesn't, as long as you know we're just friends." 

John tried not to let his disappointment show. He knew he needed to really reassure her, if they were going to spend time together. "Rose, You know that I don't ever want to to mKe you feel uncomfortable or awkward." 

"I know, I'm just... it's hard to explain." She sighed. 

"You don't have to. Just as long as we're still friends." 

"We are." The Doctor grinned in relief as Rose squeezed his hand. "And I don't mind this, so long as its platonic." He squeezed her hand back as ahe tugged him towards the door. "Let's go back." 

"I think it's time for cake!" He laughed, but mentally he was kicking himself. How could he promise platonic, when her hand in his made his entire body feel absolutely electrified.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Now that we've established your scores, Rose, let's discuss why they're higher this week than they have been." Doctor Grace O'brien lowered her tablet to her lap, and Rose found herself relaxing at the motherly expression on her face. "Is the every two weeks not working?" 

"It is!" Rose insisted, and she realized it had come out a little too quickly. "I just..." Rose didn't know where to begin. So much had happened since her appointment just before starting at the university. "There's been a lot, yeah." 

"Okay, let's start with work." Grace brushed her braids from her face, and Rose nodded. Her therapist always seemed to know where to begin, just like Ianto had. "You were starting a new job after our last appointment. Are there stressors there?" 

"No, not really." Rose relaxed further as she thought of how it was actually easy now. "The pay is goodEveryone's great. Sarah Jane is amazing, as is Dean Stewart. The Doctor is always a blast to be around." She smiled, thinking back briefly to the rest of karaoke night three days prior, as well as the join fangirl/boy moment they'd had over a new comic just that morning in the break room. 

Since she'd established her boundaries, the Doctor's more flirtatious habits had died down. His hand holding was still in play. Sarah Jane and Martha had confirmed he was indeed a hand holder. 

"Doctor Who?" Grace said and began writing, but Rose had become accustomed to it by now. 

"Doctor John Smith. He teaches Intro to Physics and Astronomy capstone." Rose fiddled with her hair. "We've actually become friends."

"Work friends or have you spent time out of work?"

"Well, we've hung out on trivia night, and he came to Yan's birthday." Rose offered that information eagerly. Part of her therapy had been to establish new relationships. "We had a rocky start at first, but we're good now."

"And his new friendship isn't causing issues?" Grace's eyebrow cocked, and Rose shook her head. "What was the rocky start?"

"He's a gift giver and is big on helping people with things like lunch and rides, and I'm not big on men giving gifts." Grace nodded at Rose's words. "He said he won a book he gave me, but I found out later he bought it for me. We settled that though, and it's been good since." 

"Good, so work is good, and you established boundaries with a new friend." Grace praised her, and Rose shifted, uncomfortable with the compliments. "Rose, this time four months ago, you could barely make eye contact with me. Now you're just glowing. How does it make you feel?" 

"Nervous, but excited! I'm going as his plus one to his twin sister's wedding." Rose offered, shifting in her seat. "I agreed to do it as repayment for him letting me crash in her old room on trivia night." She tried not to think of the way just being around the Doctor made everything seem better. It was like the man ate the sunshine. 

"I see. That's good." Grace hummed, and Rose knew that face she was making. It was the 'we're circling back to this' face. She wanted to ask what had caused it, but her therapist asked a different question. "And home. Your mum treating you like you established? She doesn't hover or try to put you on curfew."

"Mum's been amazing." Rose remembered how hard it had been for them both when she'd moved back in. Jackie had been horrified at the thought of Jimmy's friends getting to Rose, so she'd gone crazy with rules and schedules to make sure she was never alone. It had triggered the shaky progress she'd made with Ianto before she'd switched doctors. "She's not pleased that I have to move." 

"Why's that?" Grace asked. The writing had stopped, and Rose tried to peek and see what was written. 

"Well, my new job puts us way over the income for the flat. It's easier if I move, than try to uproot her too." Rose shrugged. "House hunting's a nightmare. I can't afford my own place, 'nd the estates waitlist is so long. 'Ve been looking for a flat mate, but with Jimmy getting early release, I don't want to put another woman in-"

"Hang on, Rose. Jimmy's being early released." Rose gritted her teeth and nodded. She hadn't want to talk about it yet, the real reason behind her near panic attack that morning or the reason her anxiety and PTSD were flaring up so badly. "Let's talk about this."

"He turned witness against the dealers he worked with." Rose forced herself not to curl in on Herself. "He got reduced to one year with time served, so he'll be out in about two weeks." She felt the fear rise, the phantom pain of the abuse. "His mum moved to a different building, since Mum, Mickey, and I have the protection order against them both." 

Everyone had been horrified to know that Jimmy's mom had known about the abuse, and how she had gone to testify on his behalf. The judge couldn't put her in jail, but the evidence that she was going to be problematic had resulted in the order including her. 

"You didn't call to make an appointment when you found out." It wasn't an accusation or a praise. It was a simple observation. "So how are you feeling?"

"Angry and afraid, but since 'm moving. I'm working on the fear bit." Rose had been practicing the techniques she'd been taught every time the fear hit her. "He won't know where I work, and Jack's been teaching me self defense. I've also been working on my meditations, grounding, and behavior techniques. I haven't had a panic attack except the day I found out."

"That's great that you are, and it makes sense that your screeners are high today." Grace was writing again, and Rose was proud that she had managed an entire session without crying. "Did you want to finish with an exercise today?" 

"No, 'm okay." Rose did have one request that had been poking at her. She wasn't quite sure how to address it. "Can I ask your advice on something?" 

"Of course."

"I found out that John's in therapy too." Grace looked surprised at the change of topic. "I want to, ask him, but I don't know how without outing myself." 

"Why do you want to ask him?" 

"Because, I like being his friend. I want to be able to help him if he needs it. I would like him to know I can be a friend he can call." Rose wasn't technically lying. She did want all those things, but it wasn't the heart of the reason. "Honestly, 'm also curious." 

"Well before you ask him, ask yourself this." Grace smiled gently and shook her head. "Are you ready for him to ask you?" The question came like a bucket of cold water. Rose cringed at the thought of the Doctor knowing everything. "There's your answer." A small timer went off, and Grace silenced it. 

"Thanks, Grace." Rose stood, knowing she'd have to rush back to work. "If I need an emergency appointment because of Jimmy-"

"Mine line is always open." Grace nodded, and Rose stepped out into the waiting area. Luckily, work was only two blocks away. She'd be back before her extended lunch was up. 

John was standing somewhat patiently in line to get lunch. The last two lunch breaks, Rose had joined him and Jack had been present once. He missed her company, but she'd said she'd had a doctor's appointment today. Solo lunches had never bothered him before, but today it did. 

**Rose: Are you still out?** her text tone set off his phone, and John scrambled to respond. 

**yeah why?** he had two people still ahead of him. Rose never asked him where he was, always just if he was busy. So he was curious as to her intent.

**I just got back from my appointment and realized I left my lunchbox at home. Can I send you some money, and you grab me something?**

John wanted to remind her that she didn't have to pay, but Rose was insistent always that he never do favors for her. He had come to the conclusion that whomever had hurt her had obviously used favors and repayment as a form of control or manipulation. He didn't want to hurt her. 

**Of course! Small cheeseburger, extra chips, with a soda?** He had memorized her order against his will, given his eidetic memory. 

**Can you throw in a strawberry shake? Had a rough session.**

John didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out the implications there. Still he had to ask. If Rose was in therapy, then he wanted to make sure he wasn't adding to her stress. She just wasn't very open, so it had to be approached with careful thought. 

**My therapy sessions can be rough sometimes too. Especially lately.**

He had yet to stir up any new memories, but the original one had become way clearer. Now he remembered brown wavy hair on his mother, but his father was still a blur. 

**Rose: you assume it was therapy.  
Rose: JK, it was. **

**Time for me to order.**

John stepped up and placed the order for their lunches. Then he stepped aside to wait.

**Rose: are you upset that I joked about you assuming?**

The question came with a stab of sadness. _She can't even make a joke without being afraid? She needs to understand that I'm not like that_ he mused to himself. 

**Rose, I assure you I was not mad.**

**if I was mad, I'd tell you. Please could you remember that?**

**I'll always tell you how I'm feeling if I'm upset with you.**

**Rose: Promise?**

**Promise, cross my heart.**

**Rose: thank you! 😄😄😄😄**

**See you in 20. 🌹**

John slid his phone in his pocket as he was called to collect their orders. He fervently hoped she would believe him. 

His phone vibrated again as he got into his car, and Donna's name flashed a text.

**Thing 2: Posted that flatmate ad you sent me. Should go live tomorrow. Gave your home phone instead of cell.**

**You're the best! Love ya!**   
**Thing 2: back atcha!  
Thing 2: Don't forget you and Grandad have to be at the church early on Saturday to direct the caterers and decorators.**

**I know 😜**

John wasn't too pressed to find a flatmate just yet, so he shuffled the news away to focus on driving. 

When he approached Rose's desk, he could see she was on the phone. The smile she gave him was like seeing the most amazing sunrise. "One second, I'll look up their extension." She pressed a button on the phone. "My hero!" 

"You flatter me." He set her food and drinks down, taking her proffered money. "Listen, I forgot I have to be at the church early on Saturday." He said, chuckling at the happy noise she made after taking a chip out. "So the pickup time will be around seven instead of ten."

"Would it be easier for you, if I stayed over at yours?" Rose didn't want to be an inconvenience on a promise she'd made, so she blurted out the first solution she always had to Mickey or Jack or Ianto. 

"If you're comfortable." The Doctor replied. "You can invite a friend to stay too, if you feel better that way." 

"Great. So, um, I'll bring my stuff Friday." The phone rang, making her jump. She realized she'd forgotten about the student, and they were obviously calling back. The Doctor laughed, and then he disappeared into the hallway. 

"Science wing." Rose answered, doing her best not to let his lingering cologne make her heart flutter.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Which of your friends will be staying?" The Doctor's asked, as he pulled into his garage. Rose looked up from triple checking that her makeup hadn't spilled in her bag and that she'd packed the appropriate undergarments for her dress. "And are they eating dinner here?"

"Um, well, none." Rose had initially wanted to ask Mickey, but she'd had a logical conversation with herself. The Doctor had already had her completely intoxicated in his house and had been a perfect gentleman to her. He'd also continued to respect her boundaries, and he hadn't pressed her for information about her life. "I know you only offered so I'd feel comfortable." She undid her lapbelt, as she offered him a shrug . "I already slept over once, so no need to feel uncomfortable about it." 

"Fair point." He was opening his door, then he paused to look over at her. "Is it okay if I carry your dress in? Your hands look full." Rose was grateful he'd asked, which was something he'd done quite a bit the last few days. Could he grab her a drink while he was out, could he hold the door, or could he cover the phones while she ran to get something from her lunchbox. 

"Yes, please." Rose opened her own door and gathered her purse, bag, and shoes. "I can cook tonight-"

"Actually, I already had the stuff out for lasagna." John had expected to feed at least Jack or Mickey as well, so he'd planned ahead. Still, he knew Rose wouldn't like an uneven playing field. "I wouldn't mind help though." 

"Be happy to." She smiled, and John grinned back. "Can you show me the way to the room again?" 

"Sure." He unlocked the door and quickly keyed the alarm off. "This way." He led her up the stairs and down to the room Donna had occupied for five years. "I, um, brought out better towels and blankets from the linen closet." He had prepped the room the night before, hoping to make it look less like an abandoned bedroom. 

"Thanks." Rose wasted no time depositing her bags on the bed, and John headed towards the walk in closet to hang up her dress. "I'm just gonna change out of my work clothes and wash off my makeup." 

"Of course. See you in a bit." He wanted to ask if she needed anything, but Rose had made it clear that she would always ask. John would be a liar if he didn't admit that he was struggling to keep his people pleasing tendencies to a minimum. At the same time, it was refreshing that someone apart from his family didn't take advantage of his constant need to help. 

Rose made short work of changing and washing her face. It was getting ever harder to keep her crush on the Doctor suppressed. He was just so polite, genuinely considerate, and patient with her. "Stop it." She hissed at her reflection, before hanging her towel up. "You know it would never work. Relationships don't work for girls like you." 

She hadn't divulged to Dr. Grace yet that she was still struggling with those thoughts. She hadn't even told Jack. She knew why. They would just try to convince her other wise. "Seen it happen a million times." Rose sighed, as she double wiped her eyes to clear off all mascara. "Even mum warned me about getting thoughts above my station." 

She double checked that her socks looked clean before heading down the stairs, trying to force her bad mood away to have fun with a friend. When she reached the kitchen, she had to stop. The Doctor looked absolutely amazing. His jeans curved just right to his tight bum, and the maroon long sleeved shirt fit to his lithe form. He turned, grinning at her. "Just plugged my phone into the speakers. Password is ten ten. You're in control." 

"Seriously?" Rose blinked in shock as she approached the phone on the counter. She typed the code in, blinking in surprise that it worked. She almost dropped it at the back ground image that was visible. John had his arm around a beautiful red head woman, and he was kissing her cheek. "So, who is this?" She tried to quell a flare of jealousy. She had no right to feel any way. She was not interested in dating him. 

"Oh, that's my twin, Donna." Rose barely registered him running pasta through a cutter while a pot began to warm on the stove. "Can't wait for you to meet her. You're gonna get along great. 

"You don't look much like her, no offense." 

"None taken. I'm adopted." John shrugged. It was a comment he and Donna had dealt with since they were kids. "I can explain over dinner why we say we're twins." It hadn't bothered him before, but the memory had confirmed things he didn't know how to share. Then again, the implications had always been there. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Rose said softly, and John turned from his pasta cutting. 

"I want to." He almost reached out to touch her, but stopped. "Rose, I want you to know. Do you not want to hear?" The look of surprise On her face Didnt make sense. 

"I do!" Rose clicked on some public playlist for Disney and musicals, making sure the volume was as a conversational level. "You can tell me now, while we cook." She spotted the meat he had taken out. "I'll start cooking this." 

"Okay, so, do you want the whole story or just the condensed version?" The Doctor asked, passing her a spatula.

Rose opened the meat, emptying it into the pan on the stove. "Whole story, if that's okay." She was so interested to learn how adopted siblings could be twins, and if it had anything to do with his therapy. Neither had expanded on their reason for attending. 

"So I don't know much about my biological parents except that my father was a brain surgeon, and my biological mother was a concert violinist." John repeated the information he'd overheard his Mum and Grandad tell the people testing his intelligence as a child. "He had no siblings, but she had a sister named Clara. Clara was admitted to an asylum in her teens, but moved in to live with them when the asylum closed shortly after I was born. So my mother left concert work to be a stay at home mum and caregiver."

"What were their names?" Rose asked. 

"James Smith and Idris Oswald-Smith." John tried to picture how they looked, to describe them, but their faces still alluded him. "When I was four, there was an incident, and they died." Again, he didn't know the details, as everyone had agreed to let him ask when he got older. He had always deduced it was violent, but his family had supported his decision to not traumatize himself. "The next part is kinda sad."

"That's okay." He finally looked over as Rose spoke, and she was standing so she could cook and see him at the same time. The black shirt she was wearing lifted up, revealing an odd cluster of five circular scars on her left side. He jerked his eyes away, as he mind realized they looked like cigarette burns. 

"Well, my father had told the hospital he would be on holiday for a few days. So, nobody noticed his absence." John retrieved the ingredients for his sauce and began washing them. _Who burned her? No, focus, story._

"Oh my God." Rose gasped, and John did his best to not try to get off point as she set the now cooked meat aside. "Where's the cheese, I'll start shredding." 

"Second drawer in the fridge. Grater is in the cabinet next to the dishwasher." He returned his focus to his sauce ingredients, not wanting to let Rose's proximity to him make him fumble over his words. The usual detached calm that he had with this story was not present. It was bringing him new feelings: loneliness, confusion, sadness, and a hunger pain deep in his gut. 

"They'd been dead for four days when one of my father's fellow doctors came to check on him." John couldn't remember it at all, but these new emotions were making his mind itch, like a cheap bandage over a half healed cut. "My aunt Clara and I were both in my room, asleep, hungry, and dehydrated."

"That's horrible." 

John exhaled heavily, trying to brush away the emotions. It was not the time for him to be having a new memory pop up, as much as he'd been trying. "I guess it is. I.. I don't remember any of it." He transferred the tomatoes, garlic, and onions to a pot, doing his best to ignore the itch. "I was in the hospital for a few days, while they worked to find any relative who could take me, and that's where my Mum, Silvia, Met me." 

"Oh!" 

"Yeah, so she was a pediatric nurse. She noticed my birthday was the same as her daughters. Then, after speaking to the hospital case worker, they found my birth certificate and learned my mother and she had given birth seventeen minutes apart in the same hospital." John couldn't help but smile then, because even though he couldn't remember any of it, the way his mum glowed when she'd told him and Donna the story always made him feel loved. "She and my dad, Goeff, were already on the books to adopt. She'd had trouble conceiving after Donna. So, after nonstop efforts by the hospital case worker and their adoption agent, I went home with them. I was officially adopted a few months later."

"They let you keep your birth name?" John wasn't surprised that Rose would pick such a logical question while she processed the story.

"Yes and no. My full legal name is technically John James Smith-Noble, but I use John Smith for work and stuff." 

"So, even with your insane memory, you don't remember them?" Rose surrendered the bowl of cheese to him as he extended his hand. "Also, do you want a salad? I can make one." 

"Not unless you do." She shook her head. She wasn't in the mood for salad. She'd almost forgot her question before he answered. "When I was younger, I may have remembered. I had nightmares, apparently, and my new family immediately put me in therapy. I stopped seeing the pediatric therapist when I was five. Then, when they discovered I had eidetic memory, at twelve, I started seeing Harriet. I still see her a few times a year." 

Rose found her curiosity more piqued than satisfied at learning this. She had nothing else to do while he stirred the sauce, adding spices and seasonings. "I was given the option then to know what happened, to get details, and to have contact with my Aunt Clara who was back in this-" He gestured around. "House, living with a care giver. She hadn't spoken at all, and had no way to actually be in my life. So, I told my family and Harriet that I didn't want to know about their deaths or have contact with a woman who didn't talk or do much else than play with dolls and paint landscapes. If the memories came back, I'd look into it myself."

There was something in his tone, a sort of sad exhale. He glanced at her, then back down at his pot. "It must be weird, having an eidetic memory, but not remembering anything from your younger years."

"It, it wasn't, until last week. I... I remembered something, my parents and I in the car." The Doctor swallowed, and Rose almost choked on her own spit. 

"Oh my God, when you were-"

"Driving you home. Yes. I... you flinched away from me, and I remembered." The Doctor looked like he was struggling, and he dropped the ladle against the pot. He moved past her, retrieving two bottles of water from the fridge. Rose didn't press him. She could see that the memory was painful, and she didn't know if he was mad at her for triggering it. Suddenly the Doctor was handing her a bottle of water and shifting his weight beside her. 

She set it down, taking his empty hand in his. She didn't want to push him further. "You don't have to tell me, especially if it's upset you. I'm sorry I triggered-"

"I remembered being in the backseat of a car, and my dad slapping my mum across the face." Rose almost dropped his hand, as her stomach clenched. She didn't know what to say or do in response to that. "I'm not upset at you. I just... There's things you've done and do, that were so familiar but I couldn't place. Then I realized-" Rose felt her cheeks burn, and she looked away to avoid the Doctor's knowing gaze. "That someone hurt you like that. I won't pressure you to tell me, Rose. Just, I think you should know that I put the clues together." 

"Thank you, for not pressuring me." Rose released the Doctor's hand so he could resume his stirring. She sipped her water, trying to find words to explain how she was feeling to him. "I'm glad you told me you figured it out, and I'm flattered you trusted me with your memory."

"I'm going to start putting this in a pan, do you want to turn the telly on? We can watch something while it bakes." The Doctor had obviously noticed she needed a subject change, and Rose honestly found that she felt a little less guarded than usual. "Or I can give you the full tour of the house."

"Oh, I'll take the tour!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning  
> Domestic violence flash back  
> Nlood

Chapter 14

Rose had been quite impressed with the house. She learned that what she had seen was only the front. It stretched back into the property from the road, had three livable floors, and an attic. The basement had been designed for a nanny or a caregiver, with a bedroom, sitting area, and an ensuite. It was only accessible from the kitchen, and it also hosted the laundry room. 

There was a separate dining room apart from the kitchen's breakfast nook area, which was separated from the living room by the foyer. The living room hosted a second set of stairs, but just past them was a mud room that led to the garden and a half bathroom. On the other side of the mud room was a den, which had become the Doctor's at home lab. Rose immediately loved the clutter and mess, as it reminded her of his office. 

Upstairs, she learned that Donna's room had been his nursery as a child, and his room was his parents old room. She didn't get to open the door though, because he turned pink and muttered about clutter and being a bachelor. On the opposite side of the landing was a huge room that now held a projector, a billards table, a few game systems, on one side, and a small well stocked bar on the other. On the other side of it was a study like room, a hall bath, and two guest bedrooms. 

At the opposite end of the entertain from the main door was the door to the attic. The Doctor had told her she could look if she wanted, but he'd had a moving company put everything up there that had to do with his biological family. She'd declined. 

Dinner had been great, even though his mum had called halfway through. Rose had excused herself to shower, so she could wash her hair. The Doctor had refused to let her wash the dishes, saying instead she could cover breakfast. 

By the time her shower was done, he'd been on another call with a student panicking over their computer crashing mid-paper. Anxious about oversleeping, and maybe being alone with him in her pajamas, Rose had gone to bed. Sleep, however, had been elusive. 

First she had had a half dream about Jimmy finding her at work, and then she'd been irritated by her inability to find a flat or room to rent. Then she'd been anxious about not fitting in at the wedding. She wanted tea, but the Doctor hadn't told her where everything was. he had told her to make herself at home, but she didn't want to wake him up. 

So, she'd rolled onto her side and began scrolling through Facebook, trying to find something to make her laugh. It was almost eleven when a text popped up. 

**The Doctor: Rose, I know you're up. I just saw that kitten meme.**

It was swiftly followed by a picture of a Harry potter mug on the kitchen counter with a box of tea beside it. She was already kicking her blankets aside as his next text came. 

**The Doctor: Care to join me?**

She left her phone on the side table and headed down the stairs. She followed the light to the kitchen and had to clench her jaw at the sight before her. The Doctor was standing with his back to her, Ravenclaw pajama pants hanging low on his hips, and he was shirtless. Her instinct was to walk over and slide a hand up his spine. She shook it off, and She instead said. "Got a Gryffindor mug?" She giggled when he jumped. 

"No, but I have a Marauder's map one." John opened the mug cabinet and pulled down the one in question. Then he turned, and honestly he wondered again how he was going to keep his feelings to himself. Rose was wearing a long sleeve top that was stretched out at the collar so it hung off one shoulder, and a sleeping unicorn on the front. The matching sleep shorts showed off her beautiful legs, right down to her french tipped pedicure. Her hair was a bit messy and loose, and she had no makeup on. _Nobody should be so beautiful. It's ridiculous._ he thought, again wondering who would ever want to hurt her. 

"I'll take it." She was at his side, offering him a smile. "Cream and honey?" Rose asked as she grabbed the kettle to pour the hot water into her mug. 

"Yeah, it's right here." John slid both to her, before stirring his own tea. He leaned against the counter, doing his best to not stare at her. It was hard, because she was just so magnetic. He tasted the spoon, finding it not sweetened enough. He reached for the honey Rose had just put down, realizing too late she was turning to face him. He tried to pull his hand back, but Rose bumped him. Tea splashed across his shirt, stinging his skin, and on reflex he dropped his mug. It crashed to the floor, shattering. 

"Don't move. I'll clean it! I'm so sorry." Rose was half rambling, her mug abandoned on the counter. John felt that odd wave of familiarity hit him again, and as Rose dropped to her knees gasping. "It's my fault." Her voice faded, as did the dark marble countertops and stainless steel appliances. 

_He followed the sounds of Mummy crying. Daddy was screaming again, but they were big words. He clutched his bwankie around his thumb, sucking on it the way that always made Mummy smile and hug him._

_"You're so fucking clumsy!" Daddy shouted. He found them in the chichen, next to the fridgmarater. Imgredmients for dindin were all across the white gramite, as Daddy had told him it was called._

_Daddy had his big square bottle of stinky juice in one hand. He knew it was a square, because Daddy had been teaching him about shapes! The small glass with the snake and stick on it that Daddy loved was broken on the floor. Mummy was on her knees, holding a towel. "That was my father's!"_

_He moved forward, trying to get closer. Maybe Mummy needed his help. He was her big helper. "Darling, I'm sorry! I didn't mean-" Daddy kicked Mummy hard in the tummy. She fell down, and he ran to her. Pain shot up his foot, just as he reached Daddy's legs._

_"Mummy!" He shouted falling down, grabbing his foot, spitting out his bwankie. "Muuuuumy!"_

_"Johnnie!" Mummy shouted._

_"See what you did, you idiot!" Daddy shoved Mummy away. "C'mere, Johnboy. Daddy's gotcha." Daddy scooped him up, setting him next to the sink. Mummy sobbed his name again, but she didn't get up. "Hold still, Son. Here, let Daddy see.... oh, now... this is gonna-" He screamed out as Daddy pulled something from his foot and threw it into the sink. "He needs stitches! I want this mess cleaned and dinner ready when I get back!" Daddy carried him away , grabbing Mummy's new scarf off a hook and tied it with one hand around his foot._

_The door slammed, and Johnnie sucked hard on his blanket as Daddy carried him to the car. "Daddy's sorry your Mummy is so stupid."_

John gasped as he snapped back to himself. Rose was still on the floor, gathering pieces of the mug. "I'm such a klutz. I'll clean it. It's my fault." She gasped. It had felt so long, but it had only been seconds. 

"Stop! Rose, Stop!" He dropped to his knees, reaching for her hands. She cringed back, and he saw her eyes blow wide in her pale face. Suddenly, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "You might cut yourself, and I don't ever want you to hurt yourself." Her arms relaxed in his grip, those honey colored eyes moving at an insane speed. It was if she was reading speed type on his face. "I should have asked you to pass the honey, instead of grabbing it. It was an accident. Please, I'll clean it." He tugged her away from the mess, checking her fingers for any sign of cuts. 

"Doctor, what-" John blinked in shock as Rose shook his hands free and cupped his face in both hands. "You're crying. Why are you crying?"

"I'm not-" He touched his cheek beside her thumb, and it came away wet. "I.... Rose." He yanked his foot out from under him, turning it over, and he sobbed at the thin line that ran along the ball of his foot. 

"Doctor." Rose touched his face again, as he let his legs extend on the floor. The Doctor buried his hands in his hair as he gasped. She was confused, until he sobbed out a single word.

"Mummy." 

Rose moved closer to the Doctor. It was obvious to see he had just unlocked another memory, and this one had hit him hard. Her panic at him being angry faded to the back ground, as the man before her let tears course down his cheeks unchecked. This was raw pain, not faked like Jimmy had done when he'd begged her to stay so many times. 

"Doctor, hey. " Rose felt her gut wrench at the pain in his eyes. It was disconcerting to see him looking so lost and distraught. "Listen, see my shirt." She pointed to the unicorn on it. He nodded. "Now, what about this funny magnet." She pulled it off the dishwasher. It was an old police box. He nodded, coughing through the tears. "Now you find me three somethings that prove you're here, now, and not wherever you saw." 

"I... um." She watched as the Doctor's gaze flailed. "Donna's window cactus." She looked above the sink, spotting the tiny plant. "The owl towel on the oven handle, and you." His fingers laced with hers, pulling her closer. 

She moved over his leg to sit beside him, remembering how rough her nightmares had been, and how sometimes just seeing pics of her with Jack and Ianto on her mobile had helped calm her down. If the Doctor needed her to ground him out of a traumatic memory, she would. 

Rose didn't move away when he leaned his cheek into her hair and sighed. His sobs had quieted to soft sniffles, as he murmured under his breath. Finally, he exhaled hard and choked out. "I could really use a hug!" 

"I've got you." Rose turned without question, letting him half haul her onto his lap as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. "I know, I know. I've been there. You're safe. You're fine. I'm here. He can't hurt you." She cradled his head to her shoulder with one hand, and she rubbed his bare back with the other. Tears stung her eyes, brought on by his pain. 

"He didn't hurt me." The Doctor whispered, and Rose felt her breath catch. "He hurt her. It was horrible." 

"You don't have to talk if it's too new." She knew how hard it could be to get out, how she had struggled to trust anybody enough to admit the abuse hadn't just been the night Jimmy had gotten arrested. "If you want to, I'll listen." 

"Please. I need to tell someone." 

Rose kept him tight against her as he relayed the memory, although her own past threatened to break her into tears too. When the story ended, she let him pull back enough to give him her own watery smile. She didn't know how to help him except be there. "What do you need from me, Doctor? I want to help. Tell me how."

"Let me clean the mess." Those caramel brown eyes were pleading as they met her. "You just heat more water." 

"Deal." She stood up slowly, going to the stove as the Doctor staggered to his feet to fetch a broom and a mop. She watched him go, and felt her heart break for him again.


End file.
